#9370

1010

Nov. 15, 2021, 8:25 p.m.

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Rose: Period 8, you guys are so quiet! Maybe if I give you candy, you’ll talk more. // Rose pulls out two paper bags with “night party” printed on them from out of the shelves behind his desk Rose: So I stole all my kids’ candy and sorted it into the good stuff and the stuff I don’t like, then put a small section aside to actually give back to them. // Rose asks the class something and Max answers Rose: Yes! Max, you get a piece of candy. Do you want an almond joy or a ring pop? Max: A ring pop Rose: *hurls ring pop across the room* Hmm, maybe I should just put the bag here on this empty table and have you guys go up and take candy for yourselves instead // later Rose: Aaah, middle table didn’t do their homework! Negative candy for you, middle table! Student: That’s a bit harsh Rose: You think so? Maybe I shouldn’t have said that then. Maybe I’ll take that back. Middle table, maybe you don’t have negative candy, lemme think about that

#8958

2020

Feb. 1, 2021, 11:45 a.m.

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Kirk: You can do something with $9. You can go to the candy store. Kirk: Buy, like, one candy bar. Because candy stores are expensive.

#7688

1719

Oct. 31, 2018, 12:09 p.m.

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Steven: Grape tastes like a really clean bathroom.

#7074

1616

Dec. 21, 2017, 9:12 p.m.

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Stein: Cotton candy doesn't count as a food. It's all sugar, so it's a spice.

#5701

46

Dec. 16, 2015, 8:31 a.m.

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// This is on the bus ride to school. Both bus drivers are on the walkie-talkie. Bus Driver 1: So, did you notice anything interesting lately? Bus Driver 2: Well, there is a candy cane campaign at Home Depot, but that's it. //Some time passes Bus Driver 1: So, did you get any? Bus Driver 2: Yeah, I got some. What about you? Bus Driver 1: I almost bought the whole lot! Bus Driver 2: That's A LOT of candy canes. Where'd you keep them? Bus Driver 1: Oh, well, some of them are on my steering wheel.

#3482

35

Aug. 30, 2011, 7:13 p.m.

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Rose: If it's raining, then candy bars are green.

#2933

2020

Feb. 14, 2011, 8:51 p.m.

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// candygrams are delivered on Valentine's Day Piper: Oh, do you also have one for a Ms. Piper? Alec Fields: Yeah! Me too! I should be getting like 50! Piper: What? Did you buy 50 for yourself? Class: Burn!

#883

11

Nov. 18, 2009, 6:46 p.m.

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Ms. Cullen: You're going to have to start talking to strangers because they have the best candy.