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Oct. 31, 2023, 12:11 p.m.

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// Eli Parks is wearing a hot dog costume Eli: wanna touch my weenie? Leul: of course, i'd rub your wiener Leul: gimmie some of that glizzy



May 22, 2019, 6:06 p.m.

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//Eli trying to convince Kaz that he does useful things Eli: I can draw a Big Chungus in 20 seconds! Isn't that useful? Haydn: That straddles the line between useful and useless things. Eli: *hairflip* See? It S T R A D D L E S the L I N E!



April 29, 2019, 11:14 a.m.

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//Entomology 5th //Eli holds a stool and walks around Eli: These are my udders. Milk me!



April 11, 2019, 9:41 p.m.

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//Diffeq period 9 //Kaz gives Eli a veggie straw, which he sticks part way in his mouth. //Eli looks over his left shoulder, and then his right, looking for someone to share the veggie straw with. Eli: Dammit, there's no one I can flirt with.



March 22, 2019, 6:30 p.m.

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//Complex //Abigail is sitting on a table, and Eli is sitting behind her. Schwartz: Eli, can you see the board? Eli: ... No. Schwartz: I only have one rule about sitting on tables. You can't do it if somebody is sitting behind you. Abigail: Yeah! Eli, you should move! //Eli sits on the table next to Abigail. Now Will Bass's vision is blocked too. //Will Bass stands on the table.



Feb. 11, 2019, 7:38 p.m.

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//Eli talking to Mr. Kaluta Eli: Do you know what a Big Chungus is? Kaluta: I know you’re a big chungus...



Nov. 30, 2018, 9:02 p.m.

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Rose: Eli tweeted me about his propositional logic helper at 3 AM. It's hilarious how that's the way he communicates. //pause Rose: Well, it's probably the fastest method of communication with me.



Oct. 1, 2018, 3:18 p.m.

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//In ninth period ESS Lodal: Ok, I'm gonna pick on my math people. Who are my math people? //No one raises their hand Lodal: Ok. I'm going to pick on Eli. Eli, what is a function? //Eli whimpers



Sept. 13, 2018, 1:01 p.m.

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Eli: Kristi, what ethnicity are you? Kristi: [...] Florida



Feb. 22, 2018, 1:38 p.m.

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//Klein calling on people. He points at Eli. Klein: You! Eli: I was in your class last semester. You know my name. Klein: Ah, I do know your name. White boy!