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June 14, 2023, 9:48 a.m.

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// Doing E/U proof in diffeq Schwartz: Someone give me a source of food for ants! Andy: A corpse! Schwartz: Ok... *draws a body, with one eye marked with an "X"* Schwartz: So you can only see one eye because it's on its side. Andy: What if it's a cyclops corpse? Schwartz: Sure, let's go with a cyclops corpse. Schwartz: Is it cyclops corpse or corpse of a cyclops?



June 6, 2023, 10:39 a.m.

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// Going over new content Schwartz: Time for pain!

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

pain, diffeq, schwartz



April 14, 2023, 4:02 p.m.

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Schwartz: I always emphasise how we can relate maths class to your everyday lives. Schwartz: Think back to last night, when you were playing with a mass on a spring in your bathtub of molasses.



April 11, 2023, 8:41 a.m.

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Schwartz: Now I need to take out the trash. Schwartz: Take out in a mafioso way.



March 21, 2023, 5:30 p.m.

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Schwartz: We go back to a tried-and-true method. We cheat, by guessing things.



March 10, 2023, 4:59 p.m.

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Schwartz: Pick a unit of volume. Srihari: Kevin //Schwartz writes "3 Kevin-vols", visibly confused Schwartz: Pick a unit of time. Kevin: Srihari Schwartz: ... Srihari, how old are you? Srihari: Uhhh ... 17. Schwartz: You are too young to have to think about that.



March 10, 2023, 4:57 p.m.

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Schwartz: I am not here. I'm officially on personal leave today. Student: But you love us so much you came to teach anyway? Schwartz: Basically



May 31, 2022, 5:42 p.m.

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Schwartz: So here we have a tank of some liquid. Class: Hydrochloric acid! Schwartz: What? Oh, this is a different kind of tank problem. We're trying to drain the tank here. Hadar: But what about the magical Stevens and Isaiahs? Schwartz: Oh. They'll be drained out too.



May 19, 2022, 4:04 p.m.

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//Jeremy walks into Analysis 1B, which is about to take a test Schwartz: What class should you be in? Jeremy: English, but I already finished all my assignments there. Schwartz: Check if your teacher's okay with you being here. Schwartz: If you want to take a test for a class you're not in, and your actual teacher allows that, I'm okay with it. //later, Jeremy considering taking the test the rest of the class is taking Schwartz: Do you know about Taylor series? Jeremy: No ... Schwartz: Alright; I'll find something else for you to do. //later, Schwartz gives Jeremy a test Schwartz: This test is from the second half of my Analysis 2 course. //rest of class audibly stunned



May 19, 2022, 12:59 p.m.

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Schwartz: I guess bells aren't ringing today *Bell ring immediately after he said that* Schwartz: I guess bells are ringing today.