Latest Quotes
#10081
810
⚐ Report//chaotic schwartz anthology, february 24 //this was during a lesson using applied-diffeq problems based on student suggestions "Warning: don't actually eat charcoal! That's a really bad idea." "When making charcoal, our food that is best served hot, I like to just put it on the oven, and turn the oven on. I like it at 425 degrees, but that's just a personal preference." "What would happen if I removed charcoal from the oven on the surface of the sun?" "The charcoal is magical. It magically knows, depending on where it is, whether to get hot or to get cold." "My house must be really screwed up. It heats some things up, but makes other things cool down." "Awesome! We have now solved global warming! We can cool down the sun by cooking our charcoal on the surface of the sun. This is math, where we get lots of solutions to real-world problems." "These are magical Stevens and Isaiahs. They have no mass, they take up no space, they do not dissolve in hydrochloric acid, and they do not need to breathe." "The glass sprinkles in our tank are evenly distributed at all times, thanks to the efforts of our magical Stevens and Isaiahs." "This is an everyday experience I know you all have. Think of what happens when you dump glass sprinkles in your hydrochloric acid." "Like I said, it's important to connect math to your everyday experiences. I want you to think about what happens when you dump glass sprinkles in your tub of hydrochloric acid, like you did yesterday." "If your magical Stevens and Isaiahs stop swimming, you'll get a film of glass sprinkles on the top. That's not good."
#10080
15
⚐ Report//bringing up technique for diffeq problem Schwartz: This is one of those things that we learned in the last five minutes.
#10079
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⚐ Report//when prompted for animals, someone suggests "thirteen" Schwartz: You will find that the more ridiculous the suggestion, the more likely I am to take it. //later, commentary on model based on thirteen as animal Schwartz: Bacteria are generally a better model of population growth than animals. Student: Thirteens are bacteria. Schwartz: How could I not have known that thirteens are bacteria? Of course!
#10078
1315
⚐ Report// People are talking about how they did on the Rose quiz Rao: Can you guys stop talking about math? Rao: Either you guys failed the test or you didn't.
#10076
1216
⚐ Report// logistic growth, Schwartz uses telling a secret as an example Hadar: Unrelated question, what is the secret? Schwartz: I can’t tell everyone, the k value would be too high. Hadar: I lost The Game! Schwartz: I lost! Class:(ripples of I lost The game)
#10075
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⚐ ReportSchwartz: Our glass sprinkles in hydrochloric acid are perfectly mixed thanks to the efforts of our magic Stevens and Isaiahs. Schwartz: Our glass sprinkles are a meter across and our tank is 1 light year across. You might want to check at 2am to see if the Stevens and Isaiahs are swimming. Schwartz: Swimmers are crazy, you guys wake up at 5am to go swimming. I did lifeguarding and it was a big city pool so I woke up at 6am. Schwartz: And there were like 4 people doing laps. Schwartz: Go home, let me get paid for sleeping! Schwartz: In the past, I've had grass in blood, tanks in tanks, and the particulate matter was fish tanks. Stein does feces in water.
#10074
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⚐ ReportStudent: it's not my fault you live in the 80s or whenever they had smartphones. Hanak: It was 2004!
#10072
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⚐ Report// Talking about Newton's law of Cooling Schwartz: Give me a food that is best served hot. Student: Charcoal! Schwartz: Sure, let's go with charcoal! (whispers) Don't actually eat charcoal. Schwartz: So, when I am making my charcoal snack, I like to bake it at 425 degrees, for about 5 hours. Schwartz: Then, I would like to travel to the surface of the sun, so it doesn't cool down and get unappetizing. Schwartz: Food of champions? Don't eat charcoal Schwartz: Now, give me a food that is best eaten cold. Class: Snow! Schwartz: My favorite way to make snow is to screw up my freezer so it frosts over so I can chip it off the walls of my freezer and I am free to eat it. Schwartz: I like taking my freezer to Norway, that way when I remove the snow, it starts cooling down even more. Schwartz: Because it's Norway and I'm assuming it's colder than freezing. Schwartz: So we can solve global warming by cooking our charcoal on it. Isn't math wonderful? Schwartz: Don't eat charcoal.