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#3340

2832

May 11, 2011, 2:35 p.m.

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//class is rehearsing Julius Caesar Annie: Let me, upon my knee, prevail upon this. [She kneels.] Fillman: Uh oh, Calphurnia got on her knees. Everyone knows what happens when women get on their knees. //unsurprisingly, class erupts in laughter //about five minutes later: Fillman: Come on guys. This is going on Blairbash isn't it. Evan: To be fair, Caesar WAS about to get epically blown. Fillman: This is about where I lose my job. Bye-bye, job!

#3339

1010

May 10, 2011, 9:13 p.m.

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//students had graffitied a teacher's driveway to ask him to prom ON BEHALF OF HIS 9TH PD Teacher: Wait, you had donuts for me? Sophie: We tried to ring your doorbell, but it didn't work. Hannah: We could see you through the window though! You were on the couch watching TV! Teacher: Was I dressed!? Hannah: You had a pink polo on. Teacher: I did.

Yes, he asked if he was dressed.

#3337

77

May 10, 2011, 9:07 a.m.

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//Discussing a senior party: Teacher to Polina: You can also bring some Russian dessert. Nilay: Here's some... snow!

#3336

46

May 10, 2011, 8:50 a.m.

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//Discussing a senior party: Theresa: Can we play with the grill? Teacher: ... no. Teacher: You can play Frisbee; you can play soccer; you can play volleyball; you can play... er, Alex! ...but you can't play with the grill! Student: How do you play Alex? Andrew Lu: You punch him repeatedly in the face until he cries.

#3335

37

May 10, 2011, 8:44 a.m.

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//Discussing a senior party, and why [Teacher] won't give the underclassmen one: Teacher: I once had sophomores over. They spent the whole time playing duck-duck-goose. The seniors... they try to find a place in the woods. Theresa: To play duck-duck-goose? Teacher: They're playing duck-duck SOMETHING...

#3334

1820

May 9, 2011, 8:30 p.m.

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Bourzutschky: Yes, I will murder and rape John's children. I shall enjoy it.

#3333

1414

May 9, 2011, 5:19 p.m.

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Rose: These are just the basic things you should've learned in, like, common sense grade.

#3331

1515

May 9, 2011, 8:44 a.m.

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//at 8:43am Steven: Ready for the weekend. Grace: It's Monday. Steven: I know. That doesn't change the fact that I'm ready.

#3330

2329

May 9, 2011, 7:48 a.m.

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Yessi: AP Spanish is such a joke. You have the classroom full of Hispanic kids and the one token white kid. Evan: AP Latin is worse. You have the classroom full of dead kids and the one token living kid.

#3329

214234

May 8, 2011, 5:19 p.m.

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//at National Science Bowl, all teams are sitting in an assembly. Blair is in the front row. Pham is sitting with his laptop. Dude from adjacent team: Hey, could you guys move over one seat? Blair students: Okay, sure. Pham (without looking up): Ten dolla. Dude from adjacent team: ??? Pham (still not looking up): You pay ten dolla and then we move! //Blair students rearrange without Pham's participation //later Competition person: Thank your coaches for their hard work, dedication, and attention! //Pham rotates his laptop to show Blair kids that he's been playing minesweeper, grins, and continues his game