Search Quotes
#12481
1010
⚐ ReportGlenn: I don’t need “penis worm” on my work computer search history. Glenn: I already have enough questionable things in my search history.
#12480
911
⚐ Report// fermi estimating the amount of sex offenders in the USA Andy Ying: if it's [10^]7 then we'd all have been touched by now.
#12479
1214
⚐ ReportReading the umbreon copypasta Ziyad: No it's not. It's vaporeon. I tested it💯💯💯💯 -Some time later - Ziyad: I never tested it. I never said that. Ziyad: Flareon is the best though.
#12477
313
⚐ ReportAdithi: what way is the long way? Jonathan: it's the way that is not short Jonathan: so the not Veena way. Adithi: Veena is... tall. Jonathan: you're in denial Adithi: i'm not in south sudan.
#12475
99
⚐ Report// Continuation of previous story Glenn: It's so uncanny that both of my children do the exact same things at the exact same times unbeknownst to each other. Andy: Well, they clearly got it from you. Glenn: That's true, but my sister and I didn't do the same things. Andy: Didn't you also roll around in poison ivy to miss school? Glenn: Yes, and unfortunately I am not allergic to it.
#12474
77
⚐ Report// Continuation of Glenn's story in the previous quote "One was when Sam was 3, I was doing laundry, and I pulled it out his shorts and what was in them was best described as little strips of bacon." "Then I realized, 'oh my god, these are Earthworms I am pulling out of my dryer'." "Turns out my boy was just collecting earthworms and putting them in his pocket." "It wasn't long until Alice also started putting earthworms in her pocket."
#12473
99
⚐ Report// Glenn talking about worms "Sometimes when I teach this unit, I am reminded of my kids, not that they are like worms." "When Sam was 4, he shoved a bead up his nose and I had to take him to the doctor to get it removed." "At age 4, Alice also shoved a bead up her nose." "In kindergarten, Sam cut his shorts into fringes, and he said 'I wanted to be faster.'" "Alice also once came home from kindergarten with fringed shorts." "She said 'I thought it would make me faster.'"
#12472
44
⚐ ReportHart, alternating between unreasonably many markers, all held at once: I feel like Edward Markerhands.