#4799

3032

March 17, 2014, 9:14 p.m.

⚐ Report

//Hammond keeps commenting on how Schafer is teaching. Schafer: You're ruining this class! //Schafer returns to covering the photoelectric effect. Nino: Can I go to the bathroom? Schafer: _Can_ you go to the bathroom? I certainly hope so. Paul: May we get to that homework question? Schafer: Can I get through these notes first? Paul: I don't know; can you? //Class "ooh"s. Schafer: Well, actually, that's a fair question. Hammond: You know, I think you're doing a fine job of ruining this class yourself. You don't need me. Schafer: I have two words for you. Let's see if you can guess them. Hammond: "Thank you." Schafer: The two words are "salmon pickles," just so you know. Hammond: "Salmon pickles?" Schafer: Well, duh. What did you think they were? Hammond: I thought they were, "thank you." Schafer: Oh. I thought you were thanking me. Well, in any case, you're right about the second word. And the last letter of the first word. //Class "ooh"s.

#4496

1919

April 10, 2013, 6:16 a.m.

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Rose: So we just took the derivative.  Taking the derivative is like sex.  The hard part is simplifying the derivative, which is like pillow talk. //Later, Rose and Paul are simplifying a long derivative together Rose: This is some of the best pillow talk I've ever had.

#4417

713

Feb. 5, 2013, 11:04 a.m.

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//At lunch upon hearing another person listing ingredients from a label Paul B. Ellis: You can't spend life reading the ingredients.

#4150

111

May 22, 2012, 2:41 p.m.

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//There is a Doctor Coleman political campaign for PuzzlePalooza Paul B. Ellis: Look, its Hermain Cain...no wait, it's Dr. Coleman!

#4126

-1113

May 7, 2012, 5:06 p.m.

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//During lunch while trying to fix Paul's headphones... Alex: Don't wiggle it, you asshole! Paul: You can't just not wiggle it. Alex: That's what she said...

#3742

1313

Nov. 4, 2011, 5:36 p.m.

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//Silver Chips. Late Friday.  Paul B. Ellis is copy, editing, and reading from a story. Paul B. Ellis: There is something wrong here.  "Students for Global Responsibility is planning an AIDS promotion day."  Can you really promote AIDS?

#3741

08

Nov. 4, 2011, 4:34 p.m.

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Paul B. Ellis: That's how trees insult each other, "You're a half tree! You're not a whole tree - you're part shrub, or bush!"

#3613

1119

Sept. 27, 2011, 7:28 p.m.

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Shubham: I'm gonna join debate team. Austin: I don't think you can join anymore - it has already started. //Paul walks up Shubham: Yes you can, they said you can still-- Austin: I'm pretty sure you can't join anymore. Paul: That's debatable.