Search Quotes
#5444
88
⚐ Report//Alex Melinchok is holding a Chick-fil-A milkshake in Pd. 7 Quantum, and Schafer noticed Melinchok: "It's pretty good! It isn't as good as the one from Potbelly though. 'Cause Chick-fil-A doesn't really like gay people, that's probably why it doesn't taste as good. You get what I mean, Mr. Schafer?" (Schafer stares at Melinchok for a while, and then looks down at a textbook) Schafer: "...Chapter 27 question number 17, In Rutherford's planetary model of the atom..."
#5432
1315
⚐ Report//Excerpted and paraphrased due to memory lapses //Mr. Hammond walks into Quantum Schafer: I bet Mr. Hammond is coming in to force whomever hasn't signed up yet for PuzzlePalooza to sign up. Hammond: I am actually not going to do that. Schafer: Oh, well then, I'm sorry. Hammond: My feelings are hurt, Mr. Schafer. (continuing with class) Schafer: The atom is from the Greek "atomos"... Hammond: You got that from Donaldson. Schafer: No, I actually didn't. Hammond: Anything Greek is from Donaldson. Melinchok: I'm Greek! Hammond: Did you sign up for PuzzlePalooza yet? Melinchok: No, I didn't. I need to send the link to my friend. Hammond: You should just sign up without her. Melinchok: Ok, I'm signing up now. (fills in form on her phone) I'll put down my talents as "Greek" and (something else). Student: Isn't there a choice for "Other?" Hammond: There is. Mr. Schafer, did I tell you about the best Other I've seen so far? Schafer: No, what was it? Hammond: It was "the ability to lie and say that Justin Bieber is cool." (class laughs) Hammond: Hey, it isn't my fault that Mr. Ostrander has a man crush on Justin Bieber! ... Hammond: The first rule of Puzzle Lords is that there are no Puzzle Lords. Schafer: That is just wrong in so many ways. ... Hammond: (to Melinchok) do you follow the Puzzle Lords on Twitter? Melinchok: I unfollowed them because they kept on making annoying posts. Schafer: Did you just say you UNfollowed them? Is that even like a thing? That's like saying you unfriended someone, it just doesn't make sense. Hammond: And all of the annoying posts are by Mr. Stein! Melinchok: Oh, I unfollowed him too. (class laughs) Melinchok: Ok..I'll follow the Puzzle Lords, but... (brief pause) Schafer: You'd better be really careful with what you say next. Melinchok: But whenever I see an annoying post, I'll...scroll right past it and pretend that I never saw it! Hammond: ...Someone must be submitting this to Blairbash right now. ... Melinchok: What does it mean, the prizes are huge? Like are they literally huge, or what? Schafer: Well, there are many ways a prize could be huge. Like it could be really big, and you say, "Wow, that's huge." Or it could be about this big (holds his hands about 8 inches apart) but you look at it and you go, "Wow, that's a huge prize." Or its name could be huge, like Huge the Hamster. We haven't done that one yet though.
#5411
1717
⚐ Report//Playing with a very intractable circuit simulator in MathPhys Arjuna: I am annoyed with this! Schafer: Ok. In other news, the sun will come out tomorrow, the pope is catholic, and there's turmoil in the Middle East.
#5307
66
⚐ ReportSchafer: I really love watching golf Student: Yeah, it's really interesting if you watch it carefully. Schafer: No, it's because I get the best naps. There's this beautiful scenery, it's so tranquil and quiet, I'm laid back watching and then suddenly *snore*
#5270
3941
⚐ Report//During MathPhys Study Hall Vijay: Hey Mr. Schafer, I have Leibniz cookies. //Shows cookies with "Leibniz" written on it Schafer: That's pretty good. I only eat fig newtons though.
#5196
1313
⚐ Report//During MathPhys Study Hall //Schafer is asking about MagPi Schafer: What would you call MagPi? A club, a group, an organization...? Sachin: A bird.
#4987
99
⚐ ReportSchafer: *Discussing history of fundamental elements* Fire, Earth, Air, and Water. Francis: And then there's The Fifth Element, starring Bruce Willis. Schafer: And then the Sixth Sense, also starring Bruce Willis. *Dicussion among half the class about a seventh movie* Schafer: What do you got for eight? Francis: Uh.......Surrog-eight, starring Bruce Willis.
#4829
1414
⚐ Report//Pd. 7 Schafer quantum. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle was covered during the previous class. //Mike leaves the room right before pd. 7 starts to look for his backpack. Schafer doesn't realize this. //1 minute into class: Schafer: Wait, where's Mike? Eric: He went to look for his backpack. //Mike comes back without a backpack. Schafer: Where'd you go? Mike: I went to look for my backpack and I still don't know where it is. Naeem: Wait, isn't it right there? [Points to backpack.] Mike: Oh yeah, thanks. Student: That's like Brownian motion. Schafer: How is it like Brownian motion? Mike: Wait, no. It's like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I knew _exactly_ what its momentum was, so I didn't know where it was. Schafer: Yeah, true. He knew _exactly_ how fast it was going, so he couldn't have had any idea where it was. //A few minutes later, Schafer calls on Mike to explain something. The tables in the classroom are unusually arranged, so Mike can't get to the front of the room. Schafer: Yep, I set up these tables like that _just_ so you couldn't get to the front of the room. //Mike succeeds in getting to the front of the room. Mike: Oh yeah? Well I just thwarted your plans! //Schafer throws Mike a marker, but throws it badly intentionally, that way Mike can't catch it. Mike doesn't come close to catching it. Schafer: Ha! What now‽ Mike: To be fair, I knew exactly how fast the marker was travelling.