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March 25, 2015, 9:23 a.m.

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Matthew: Sachin, are you in ModSim? Sachin: Yeah. Schwartz: By the way, Sachin, we should try to talk sometime, because we haven't had any meetings yet. Sachin: Oh...I can do that during ModSim. //Class laughs; Dennis flies out of his chair in laughter.



March 18, 2015, 9:22 p.m.

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Eric Neyman: "Are you doing any work in ModSim" has about the same truth value as "Is Sachin here."

Sachin is notorious for being difficult to find, as he is often not where he's supposed to be (think electrons). ModSim is a Pham class.

neyman, eric, modsim, sachin



Dec. 15, 2014, 4:47 p.m.

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//Unnamed student (henceforth "Student") is giving a practice SRP presentation on people’s ability to distinguish between speaking and singing. //Student finishes presenting; more than half of the class raises their hand. Mike, to Matthew: Sorry, what’s everybody’s question? Matthew: Like, "what exactly did you do, again?" //Questions went on for half an hour. Below are some highlights. -- Harrison: So basically your project is about differentiating between speaking and singing. Do you have an objective definition of singing? Student: Singing is pleasing to the ears. Harrison: But do you have an objective definition? Student: No. Music is subjective. Harrison: Okay, so basically your project is meaningless. //Student calls on someone else. -- Arjuna: Doesn’t perception change with age? Student: Yeah, but age doesn’t really matter. Arjuna: So are you blocking by age? Student: Um... uh... yeah, sure. -- Eric: How many age blocks do you have? Student: Age doesn’t really matter. Eric: But are you blocking by age? Student: Uh, sure. Eric: So you have a sample size of 24, you have two gender blocks, and you have several age blocks. How will you be able to get statistically significant results? //Class laughs. Student: Well, after we have the data, we’ll figure out whether it’s statistically significant. Matthew: But Eric just figured out that it’s not statistically significant. Mike, to Matthew and Eric: Okay, we’ve determined that the whole project is BS. Let’s move on. //Student calls on the next person with a question. -- Sachin: Can you go back to the first slide? //Student goes back to the title slide. //5-second silence Student: So what’s your question? Sachin: Oh, I don’t have one. I just wanted you to go back to that slide. //Later Eric: Wait, why did you ask to go back to the first slide? Sachin: I just wanted to stall. Eric: So there wouldn’t be any more presentations? Sachin: Yeah, and to troll. -- Eric, to Mike: I think his project is not topologically equivalent to Salamano. //Note: Salamano, a character in _The Stranger_, is Eric’s go-to example of something that doesn’t have holes in it. Mike, to Eric: I think his project is topologically equivalent to a sponge. //After 5 seconds. Mike, to Eric: Actually, it’s topologically equivalent to a Sierpinski sponge, because it has no volume. Dennis, to Mike and Eric: If he did a math presentation, he would understand numbers better than anyone since Morris Kline. //Note: making fun of this ridiculous quote at the bottom of the front cover of this book: -- Ms. Bosse: Did anybody not ask a question yet? -- //This one might not be very accurate. //Kevin frantically waves his hand. Student calls on him. Kevin: You said during your presentation that audio evidence cannot be used in court, but I think that you can in fact use audio recordings in court. Student: Oh, by audio evidence I mean what people say they heard, not actual recordings. Kevin: But what if there’s hearsay? Student: What’s hearsay? //Kevin explains what hearsay is. Student: Oh, but I’m talking about actual recordings.



Sept. 26, 2014, 11:11 p.m.

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//During MathPhys Study Hall //Schafer is asking about MagPi Schafer: What would you call MagPi? A club, a group, an organization...? Sachin: A bird.



April 30, 2012, 4:15 p.m.

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//Street walks into Chemistry to ask for Needwood forms Street: Does anybody have Needwood forms? Neyman? Eric: I need to get it signed. Street: Oh god, Offertaler? Bendeguz: No, sorry, I need to get it signed too.. Street: Pandey? Sachin: What? //class laughs Street: (Puts up big loser sign)



Jan. 3, 2012, 8:23 p.m.

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//Ms. Thomas is talking about how she ranks how much she likes her students by putting them on a metaphorical ladder //A student says something she doesn't like Ms. Thomas: Now, you are moving down on the ladder! Sachin (passing by): Why don't you just jump off the ladder and measure its height?



Nov. 14, 2011, 8:31 p.m.

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Stein: Sachin's favorite ice cream flavor is...Mr. Stein? Sachin, I'm not an actual flavor! Sachin: But you will be.

Sachin writes names on the blanks in Mr. Stein's tests rather than an answer (in this case, for favorite ice cream flavor)

analysis, stein, sachin