//Unnamed student (henceforth "Student") is giving a practice SRP presentation on people’s ability to distinguish between speaking and singing.
//Student finishes presenting; more than half of the class raises their hand.
Mike, to Matthew: Sorry, what’s everybody’s question?
Matthew: Like, "what exactly did you do, again?"
//Questions went on for half an hour. Below are some highlights.
Harrison: So basically your project is about differentiating between speaking and singing. Do you have an objective definition of singing?
Student: Singing is pleasing to the ears.
Harrison: But do you have an objective definition?
Student: No. Music is subjective.
Harrison: Okay, so basically your project is meaningless.
//Student calls on someone else.
Arjuna: Doesn’t perception change with age?
Student: Yeah, but age doesn’t really matter.
Arjuna: So are you blocking by age?
Student: Um... uh... yeah, sure.
Eric: How many age blocks do you have?
Student: Age doesn’t really matter.
Eric: But are you blocking by age?
Student: Uh, sure.
Eric: So you have a sample size of 24, you have two gender blocks, and you have several age blocks. How will you be able to get statistically significant results?
Student: Well, after we have the data, we’ll figure out whether it’s statistically significant.
Matthew: But Eric just figured out that it’s not statistically significant.
Mike, to Matthew and Eric: Okay, we’ve determined that the whole project is BS. Let’s move on.
//Student calls on the next person with a question.
Sachin: Can you go back to the first slide?
//Student goes back to the title slide.
Student: So what’s your question?
Sachin: Oh, I don’t have one. I just wanted you to go back to that slide.
Eric: Wait, why did you ask to go back to the first slide?
Sachin: I just wanted to stall.
Eric: So there wouldn’t be any more presentations?
Sachin: Yeah, and to troll.
Eric, to Mike: I think his project is not topologically equivalent to Salamano. //Note: Salamano, a character in _The Stranger_, is Eric’s go-to example of something that doesn’t have holes in it.
Mike, to Eric: I think his project is topologically equivalent to a sponge.
//After 5 seconds.
Mike, to Eric: Actually, it’s topologically equivalent to a Sierpinski sponge, because it has no volume.
Dennis, to Mike and Eric: If he did a math presentation, he would understand numbers better than anyone since Morris Kline. //Note: making fun of this ridiculous quote at the bottom of the front cover of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mathematics-Loss-Certainty-Oxford-Paperbacks/dp/0195030850/ref=cm_rdp_product_img
Ms. Bosse: Did anybody not ask a question yet?
//This one might not be very accurate.
//Kevin frantically waves his hand. Student calls on him.
Kevin: You said during your presentation that audio evidence cannot be used in court, but I think that you can in fact use audio recordings in court.
Student: Oh, by audio evidence I mean what people say they heard, not actual recordings.
Kevin: But what if there’s hearsay?
Student: What’s hearsay?
//Kevin explains what hearsay is.
Student: Oh, but I’m talking about actual recordings.