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Feb. 27, 2019, 9:32 p.m.

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//Entomology 5th Jonathan: A true "Berkowitz Grenade" would be a single sesame seed. Carl: No, that's a Berkowitz Bullet.



Sept. 15, 2017, 12:42 p.m.

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Carl: The police oppress people! Niles: Just your people.



Sept. 14, 2017, 10:12 p.m.

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//Lunch before Stein, Carl is doing homework Patrick: Carl, Stein doesn't collect that homework. Carl: I don't care if he's collecting it, I want to understand it! //Carl begins to put incomplete homework away Carl: Wait, you said he isn't collecting it?



June 13, 2017, 12:23 p.m.

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Carl: Just cuz I eat poppy bagels half the week doesn't mean I'm- Carl: Oh wait



April 26, 2017, 7:05 p.m.

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Rose: You're hyper today? Good let's do some math!



Feb. 13, 2017, 12:49 p.m.

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Carl: Shiv, stop giving me your sweets! <Shiv hands Carl his fruit snacks> Carl: Hes like your mother, making you eat vegetables Dana: Oh no, sweets



Oct. 12, 2016, 11:55 a.m.

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//Carl is getting very flustered about something Lodal: Carl. I know you. I know what you do. Don't worry.



June 18, 2016, 3:48 p.m.

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//Block D R&E Exam Period, minutes before the last bell of the year Street: Have a great summer everyone! I know I call all of you maggots, but I don't actually hate you. //Hesitates Street: Even Kevin. //Hesitates again Street: You too, Carl.



Jan. 22, 2016, 3:52 p.m.

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Steven: Ugh 9th grade girls are so annoying. //He leans over to get something from his backpack. Carl: Hey, you aren't that bad. //Steven starts to agree then bolts upright



Oct. 8, 2015, 9:14 p.m.

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// Block B Freshman Physics // Someone has just been discovered to have voted twice on a question. Schafer: No, you can't do that! It's like when I ask Matthew 'Do you want to ride your Big Wheel or take a bath?' and he says 'First ride Big Wheel; then take bath.' But that's impossible! There's 15 minutes! Carl: Just put the Big Wheel in the bathtub! // silence Schafer: Carl, you're either going to be the best dad ever, or the worst.