#12032

88

Aug. 31, 2023, 4:10 p.m.

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Rose: "If you wash the dishes, I'll give you a cookie." This is what a parent might say -- I'm a parent. Rose, later: This is a good way of parenting -- bribery. Rose, later: What if he doesn't wash the dishes, but I give him a cookie anyway? This is 21st-century parenting.

#11808

1717

May 4, 2023, 8:08 a.m.

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Sahu: what can I do to get you guys to learn Faye: get us cookies like mr. rose! Sahu: mr. rose and I…are different

#10528

1515

May 3, 2022, 2:30 p.m.

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//rose pd 7 analysis 1 rose: it’s teacher appreciation week did you know that? rose: let the record show i currently have no cookie in my hand.

#10288

1616

March 16, 2022, 5:24 p.m.

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//two students baked cookies for L'Hôpital project and were about to serve it to the class Schwartz: If you're allergic to something, don't eat food containing the thing you're allergic to. //class laughs Schwartz: I know that's an interesting concept, but please don't eat things that would cause you to have a medical emergency. //later Andy: So I don't have to take the exam next class! Schwartz: No! That's not how it works! You're not eating the exam!

#6133

77

Dec. 26, 2016, 9:17 p.m.

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//There are cookies in Logic class, Callie takes one in each hand Callie: Yeah! Double fisting it!

#1699

-37

March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.

#1126

33

Dec. 10, 2009, 9:22 p.m.

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Elizabeth: i'd offer to make the cookies, but im afraid they would turn out awesome