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Jan. 10, 2023, 5:26 p.m.

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Schwartz: The first example is finding the volume of a sphere with triple integration. Schwartz: It's fine, that works. Let's do the harder example. //Hammond bursts in Hammond: Lies! All lies! //later Hammond, holding up a type of laptop: The problem with these is you can't trust students not to steal them. Hammond: You know I'm joking, right? Don't go home and say "the teacher said that we're not trustworthy!" Schwartz: Well, of course they're not trustworthy. They're teenagers. Hammond: Ageist! Schwartz: Developmentalist! Some people are 30 and they're still "teenagers". //later, Hammond examining the whiteboard's ρ^2 sin φ dρ dθ dφ Hammond: There's too much Greek here. //later, Schwartz drawing and explaining a 3D shape Schwartz: This is an ice-cream cone. Hammond: No, that's the Eye of Sauron! //later Schwartz: Let's not blindfold our ice-cream cone.



Jan. 5, 2022, 4:20 p.m.

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Lodal: Is it an ice cream cone? Is it a large slice of pizza? I don't know. There are many ways you could describe it.



June 5, 2012, 4:42 p.m.

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//In a math class Annie: I like Italian pizza. Viju: I like all pizza. Teacher: What do you mean by Italian pizza? Annie: You know, like, Neopolitan pizza. Viju: Soooo it has a chocolate section and a vanilla section and a strawberry section?



March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.