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Sept. 12, 2022, 11:32 a.m.

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Sarah: I'm genetically doomed to suck at world history. If you asked everyone in my family what continent Asia's in, they'd all get it wrong.



Feb. 25, 2018, 5:49 p.m.

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//Magnet Arts Night (MAN), Michael and Sarah hold hands and look at each other deeply //A moment of silence before the act ends Student: KISS!



Feb. 15, 2018, 1:20 p.m.

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//Great Gatsby presentations Brian: The author is taking a modernist approach, recognizing that the character isn’t always doing interesting things. For example, in Harry Potter, they don’t talk about him going to the bathroom. Klein: That chapter was deleted. Class: But there was actually some chapters in Harry Potter where he went to the bathroom… Klein: That part was actually interesting though. Sarah: He took an interesting shit. Klein: Harry on the Potter.



March 31, 2017, 4:21 p.m.

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Rose: What type of triangle has the maximum area for some fixed perimeter? Sarah: The square kind.



Dec. 18, 2012, 5:41 p.m.

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//Cathy is helping debug Sarah's program in ADSB Cathy: I think your problem is that the condition for one of your if statements is flipped. Sarah: Oh I know! I probably flipped one of those equal sign thingies!



June 1, 2011, 10:41 a.m.

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Sarah: I promise! He was teaching me logs! Jeremy: That's where it all starts, first is logs, then you move to logarithmic graphing, then polar graphing, then it escalates, next thing you know you're pregnant!



May 15, 2011, 6:15 p.m.

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Schafer: Optical densities. 1.00 for air. 1.33 for water... //goes on and on Sarah: Oh, he's good. He knows all those constants. Schafer: Oh I know constants. Some of you go home and watch Pokemon, but I go home and read constants.



Nov. 16, 2010, 1:44 p.m.

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Swaney: Did you come into this class before? Hammond: No, I think I came in the other class. There was this one really talkative girl... Swaney: Sarah Fultz?



March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.