Search Quotes
#12963
48
⚐ ReportSchwartz: Of course, you'll be majoring in maths in college, because maths is the most important subject Schwartz: ... or you might major in an inferior subject. You are allowed to make poor life choices and not major in maths.
#12925
55
⚐ Report//Schwartz introduces "isomorphism" Kelin: That's bad grammar. It should be "I'm so morphism".
#12924
88
⚐ Report//chaotic schwartz anthology, january 30 "[Despicable Me character = Vector = complex numbers] is technically correct, which is the best kind of correct." "This class has Analysis 2 as a prereq. I am the only person at Blair teaching Analysis 2. How convenient." "How can I ask this question in a way that doesn't give everything away?" "You know you're really getting far in maths when they no longer treat your name as a proper noun, but write it in lowercase." "Wow, we got to this part of the lesson in 30 minutes. That's a new record. ... Don't clap for that. It's not an achievement. We just did things in a different order." "What's purple and commutes? ... An abelian grape. ... Don't laugh at that." "How can complex numbers be real if our eyes aren't real?" "Zero's just a concept. It's a state of being." "[The butterfly lemma] doesn't actually look like a butterfly -- but we pretend it does to make the person who named it happy."
#12892
1111
⚐ ReportSchwartz: For the last Math Meet, I want to bring 60, 70 people. We should show up in force. Student: Is it to flex on Poolesville? Schwartz: No, it's for us! ... but it's also kinda to flex on Poolesville.
#12789
77
⚐ Report//chaotic rose anthology, december 20 "There are two ways we can go about this. When the teacher stops talking for a second, you can start talking about bullshit that's unrelated to class, or you can stop, and be quiet, and focus on what's happening in class." "Don't get mad at me, Katz! Or get mad at me, but suppress those feelings, as I often do." "I'm not going to look at the clock, because it would make me sad. ... There's no clock anyway? Great!" "Now, here's something new that will change your life. ... For the better. I have to clarify that every time." "I'm just retelling the story from october, but this time I'm using the word 'consistency' a lot." "He uses the pseudosphere, which is at my house, as part of the Christmas tree, so I don't have it with me now." "Perfect. And when I say 'perfect', I'm really crying inside. But it's only on the inside, so that's okay." "[Fus making an announcement is] the voice of nightmares." "Now we're getting to the part of this class where I make fun of Schwartz a lot." "[Schwartz is] so influenced by modern mathematics. He's like a caricature of the 21st-century mathematician." "If you ask whether something is true, Schwartz will say 'what do you mean, true? I don't care about truth! Just tell me the axioms, and give me my peanut butter sandwiches, and my water, and I'll sit in my hammock and derive the theorems.'"
#12544
2222
⚐ Report//P4 Phil Orch. We are playing pieces from The Wizard of Oz, and Smolen wanted us to be more joyous when the witch was killed. Smolen: "Imagine there's a person taxing you... and that person dies! Dun, dun, dada da dun..." //A few moments later Smolen: "Or, imagine Schwartz-- Schwartz gives a lot of homework, right? Well, imagine he just said no analysis homework for the rest of the year!"
#12520
1212
⚐ Report// Schwartz is walking down the 310s hallway Jeremy: Schwartz, how many push-ups can you do? Schwartz: Uhh...I don't know??? Jeremy: Why don't you test it out during class today?
#12493
911
⚐ Report// 9th period multivar, 3:19; people are packing up Schwartz: why are you packing up? class isn't over yet! // sentence is punctuated by ringing of bell
#12451
57
⚐ ReportSchwartz: Any questions? Schwartz: I don’t know why I’m asking for questions. You shouldn’t have any questions. This isn’t related to class at all.
#12360
1111
⚐ ReportJerry Lu: What is the airspeed velocity of a flying capybara? Schwartz: African or European?