Search Quotes
#12172
1214
⚐ ReportOn talk like a pirate day Schwartz: If Captain Hammond comes in, ye have me' permission to ball up paper and throw it at him! > Later, Dylan is about to throw a paper ball at Will Schwartz, in a normal voice: No, don't throw it at Will, you only have my permission to throw it at teachers. > Dylan turns to throw the paper ball at Schwartz
#11999
44
⚐ Report// Last day of school Schwartz: You guys have 4 hours of school left, suck it up! Schwartz: The next time I will tell you to wake up at 8 will be February if you're taking complex next year. Schwartz: I should send all of you guys an email during the summer that says "URGENT: Wake up."
#11992
610
⚐ Report// Doing E/U proof in diffeq Schwartz: Someone give me a source of food for ants! Andy: A corpse! Schwartz: Ok... *draws a body, with one eye marked with an "X"* Schwartz: So you can only see one eye because it's on its side. Andy: What if it's a cyclops corpse? Schwartz: Sure, let's go with a cyclops corpse. Schwartz: Is it cyclops corpse or corpse of a cyclops?
#11991
79
⚐ Report// Start of class, Schwartz is taking a bloodborne pathogen certification quiz Schwartz: This is an incredibly meaningful achievement. Schwartz: When you see Ostrander, let him know that Mr. Schwartz has completed the [quiz]! // Schwartz shows certificates from previous years Schwartz: In 2017, they made the certificate fit the page better, which is befitting of my accomplishment!
#11988
66
⚐ Report//four-person Analysis 2 class after seniors left, one absent Schwartz: A quarter of my class is absent! Schwartz, later, to the others: Which of you will be absent on thursday? Student: I'll be absent Schwartz: Oh, I was joking about that. Then one of [you other two] will be absent on friday. Schwartz: And on tuesday, only I'll be here. Schwartz: It goes from five, to four, to three, to two, to one. Slowly, our numbers diminish.
#11982
1010
⚐ ReportStudent: I just had a dream about Mr. Schwartz grading our tests. Student: Key word being dreamed.
#11975
55
⚐ Report// Michael Wang tries to explain a video game technique Schwartz: That's called spawn camping. It's awful!
#11972
1111
⚐ Report// Hadar walks in late with cinnamon rolls Schwartz: Now THAT is how you walk in late!