#11992

610

June 14, 2023, 9:48 a.m.

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// Doing E/U proof in diffeq Schwartz: Someone give me a source of food for ants! Andy: A corpse! Schwartz: Ok... *draws a body, with one eye marked with an "X"* Schwartz: So you can only see one eye because it's on its side. Andy: What if it's a cyclops corpse? Schwartz: Sure, let's go with a cyclops corpse. Schwartz: Is it cyclops corpse or corpse of a cyclops?

#11991

68

June 14, 2023, 9:45 a.m.

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// Start of class, Schwartz is taking a bloodborne pathogen certification quiz Schwartz: This is an incredibly meaningful achievement. Schwartz: When you see Ostrander, let him know that Mr. Schwartz has completed the [quiz]! // Schwartz shows certificates from previous years Schwartz: In 2017, they made the certificate fit the page better, which is befitting of my accomplishment!

#11990

1111

June 14, 2023, 8:04 a.m.

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//Pd. 1 freshman chem Debbie: But Costco pizza is so cheap! Lodal: yes, but going to Costco is such a cost.

#11989

1212

June 13, 2023, 9:59 p.m.

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Cooper: Who was that one asian violinist that was really good Cooper: His name was like three parts Alex: idk Cooper: Oh yeah, Yo Yo Ma! Alex: ...

#11988

66

June 13, 2023, 3:14 p.m.

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//four-person Analysis 2 class after seniors left, one absent Schwartz: A quarter of my class is absent! Schwartz, later, to the others: Which of you will be absent on thursday? Student: I'll be absent Schwartz: Oh, I was joking about that. Then one of [you other two] will be absent on friday. Schwartz: And on tuesday, only I'll be here. Schwartz: It goes from five, to four, to three, to two, to one. Slowly, our numbers diminish.

#11987

911

June 13, 2023, 9:41 a.m.

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// Jesse Jing doesn't see the cinnamon rolls in the hallway Jesse Jing: Where did you get the cinammon roll? Pavan: Open your eyes, you're Asian!

#11986

610

June 13, 2023, 8:21 a.m.

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Quantum video: Across the ocean, a particularly savvy Yankee had other ideas. Jerry Song: Andrew Tate.

#11985

1010

June 13, 2023, 8:16 a.m.

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Quantum video: Rumsford married the widow of the man who's theory he just disproved. Schafer: Science!

#11983

812

June 12, 2023, 3:07 p.m.

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// Tournament of Champions Henry V(as Napoleon): My response to all of my opponent's claims are "nuh uh".

#11982

1010

June 12, 2023, 2:23 p.m.

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Student: I just had a dream about Mr. Schwartz grading our tests. Student: Key word being dreamed.