Search Quotes
#13071
35
⚐ ReportGlenn: I can still tell embarrassing Alice stories Glenn: So she went home and told me that she asked Bernard to be her valentine Glenn: I've never heard of this Bernard character. Glenn: So later she told her dad that. Glenn: And her dad was like, maybe we can talk to Bernard's parents and have a playdate Glenn: because she's nine, and playdates are still a thing Glenn: Then she said, it wouldn't be a play date, it'd be a real date. Glenn: she's a hoo
#13052
46
⚐ ReportGlenn: My daughter told me the other day "I asked Bernard to be my valentine." // Later Glenn: So last night Alice was calling her dad and said "I asked Bernard to be my valentine". Glenn: And her dad said "well I guess you could ask him for his parents' number and arrange a playdate". Glenn: Alice said "if Bernard comes over it will be a real date". // Later Glenn: I'll scope him out. Glenn: I'll tell him to sit down. Glenn: "What are your intentions with my daughter?"
#12474
77
⚐ Report// Continuation of Glenn's story in the previous quote "One was when Sam was 3, I was doing laundry, and I pulled it out his shorts and what was in them was best described as little strips of bacon." "Then I realized, 'oh my god, these are Earthworms I am pulling out of my dryer'." "Turns out my boy was just collecting earthworms and putting them in his pocket." "It wasn't long until Alice also started putting earthworms in her pocket."
#12473
99
⚐ Report// Glenn talking about worms "Sometimes when I teach this unit, I am reminded of my kids, not that they are like worms." "When Sam was 4, he shoved a bead up his nose and I had to take him to the doctor to get it removed." "At age 4, Alice also shoved a bead up her nose." "In kindergarten, Sam cut his shorts into fringes, and he said 'I wanted to be faster.'" "Alice also once came home from kindergarten with fringed shorts." "She said 'I thought it would make me faster.'"
#10682
1719
⚐ ReportDuval: They don't know who Alice is. Johnny: Is she your dog? *Class breaks down, Alice is Duval's daughter* Johnny: Close enough. Duval: Johnny, this is for you only. What's my dogs name? Johnny: Sam? *Class breaks down again, Sam is Duval's son* Duval: Useless, all of you!
#10374
1010
⚐ ReportDuval: Do you know what Alice is doing on Friday? Johnny: Who’s Alice? Duval: We’re no longer on speaking terms.
#8826
2525
⚐ ReportDuval: so I was asking Alice what haircut she wanted, and she said she wanted Monsieur C's haircut. Monsieur C, her teacher, is bald. Alice [from the background]: stop telling them that! I'll kill you!
#5565
6367
⚐ Report//Pd. 4 Analysis 1B, went something like this Stein: Kinjal! Go integrate that! //She's in a different period, so nobody moves Stein: Shivani! Whatever your name is! Go! (points at Urjita) Class: Do you mean Urjita? Stein: It's a half day! No time for names! Go! //she gets up and does the integral Stein: Now pass it off to someone else! Faster! //passes it off to Sam Stein: Urjita! Simplify that! //class laughs Stein: We don't have time for names! We're already behind! Now go! //Sam looks incredulous, but goes up anyway Stein: Now pass it along! Faster, Gabe! //hands it off to Alice Stein: Keep going, Sandeep! Quickly! //Alice takes the ln and hands off to Lara Stein (looking at Lara): Meghna! How do we solve for y? //This went on for a while, not once calling someone the correct name Stein (at the end of class): I'd like to spend the last minute of class apologizing to all of the ladies of Indian descent.
#5338
4852
⚐ ReportAlice: Whoa, so they were like mutually hugging! Jamie: According to magnet standards, that's like third base. Roadkill: What would the other bases be then? Buddha: Let's see. First base - talking. Second base - any sort of physical contact. Third base - hugging. Fourth base - doing math together.