#3691

88

Oct. 19, 2011, 4:49 p.m.

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Teacher: It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're a turkey.

#3633

66

Oct. 4, 2011, 8:38 a.m.

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//Teacher is watching SciBowl tryouts. After an astronomy question Teacher: So what happened on May 5th, 2000? Viju: uhhh cinco de mayo?

#3626

33

Oct. 1, 2011, 8:17 p.m.

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//Talking about an assembly in Period 2 R&E Student 1: Wait, isn't there an assembly today? // General agreement Student 2: Yeah, but [Teacher]'s gonna make us miss it because of the test... Student 3: Just walk out, he'll never catch you.

#3528

1111

Sept. 8, 2011, 5:30 p.m.

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Stein: Why is everyone staring at me? Class: Because you're the teacher...

#3478

24

Aug. 30, 2011, 5:31 p.m.

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Teacher: Last year, this kid had the nerve to walk into my class wearing not one, but party hats all over his face!

#3423

88

May 28, 2011, 1:48 p.m.

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//Talking about NASA and how they invented calculators Teacher: Who do you think invented the calculator? Student: You? Teacher: Of course not. If I had invented the calculator, do you think I would be sitting here right now teaching you kids while staring at this ugly thing?

#1651

1717

March 13, 2010, 6:10 p.m.

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//Schafer is describing what he thinks the award ceremony for best teacher would be like Schafer: So it's like 3 hours or something. What are they gonna do with all that time? They could be like "Best securitry guard" or "Most hardworking building services worker" or something like that. And then imagine 3 hours of that junk! Student: Will you give an acceptance speech? Schafer: Yeah, and I'll just throw in some of your guys names. I might even make up some names. Gilad: Thank Dr. Quantum! Schafer: You know what, I'm gonna thank JK Rowling for inspiring a generation to read! Bae: And thank Stephenie Meyer for inspiring a generation NOT to read!

#287

66

May 21, 2009, 9:46 p.m.

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Mr Grossman: "Might as well legalize prostitution" Amir: "WHOA!"

#285

-24

May 21, 2009, 9:43 p.m.

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Grossman: Inter is like...intercourse!

#79

77

May 21, 2009, 8:54 p.m.

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I think I'm going to start this routine- every day, warmup, and check homework... sorta like a real teacher... ~Mr. Rose