Search Quotes
#5224
513
⚐ Report//Monday in Symphonic Band: //Richard K. is holding a form Cynthia: Hey, what form is that? Richard: A form to sell my soul Cynthia: If you sell your soul I just might buy it Richard: Wait, why would you want my soul? Cynthia: *witch cackle* Michael Y.: You'd make a very good actress; that was like the perfect witch laugh Richard: No, you don't get it, that's her actual laugh
#4829
1414
⚐ Report//Pd. 7 Schafer quantum. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle was covered during the previous class. //Mike leaves the room right before pd. 7 starts to look for his backpack. Schafer doesn't realize this. //1 minute into class: Schafer: Wait, where's Mike? Eric: He went to look for his backpack. //Mike comes back without a backpack. Schafer: Where'd you go? Mike: I went to look for my backpack and I still don't know where it is. Naeem: Wait, isn't it right there? [Points to backpack.] Mike: Oh yeah, thanks. Student: That's like Brownian motion. Schafer: How is it like Brownian motion? Mike: Wait, no. It's like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I knew _exactly_ what its momentum was, so I didn't know where it was. Schafer: Yeah, true. He knew _exactly_ how fast it was going, so he couldn't have had any idea where it was. //A few minutes later, Schafer calls on Mike to explain something. The tables in the classroom are unusually arranged, so Mike can't get to the front of the room. Schafer: Yep, I set up these tables like that _just_ so you couldn't get to the front of the room. //Mike succeeds in getting to the front of the room. Mike: Oh yeah? Well I just thwarted your plans! //Schafer throws Mike a marker, but throws it badly intentionally, that way Mike can't catch it. Mike doesn't come close to catching it. Schafer: Ha! What now‽ Mike: To be fair, I knew exactly how fast the marker was travelling.
#4612
99
⚐ ReportDonaldson: So let's say that Michael is driving Laura at 50 meters per second...and let's put Raymond in the middle of the street with them heading straight at him, for simplicity of math's sake.
#4539
08
⚐ ReportMichael: I'm sorry to break it to you, but Santa Claus isn't real. Alex B: Santa Claus isn't real, but Santa CLAW is.
#4450
1012
⚐ Report//Mr. Stein gave out articles to read in his Sports Statistics class. He just sent out an e-mail. Stein: This kid who lives in my house says I never gave him a copy of the article...
#4190
1313
⚐ Report//In Statistics Stein: You know, I used to have an iguana. //Looks at Michael Stein: But then HE killed it. //Michael nods
#4077
713
⚐ Report//Mr. Clay walks into freshmen chemistry exhausted during loaf time. Clay: Sorry to interrupt. Lodal: It's OK, we haven't started yet. Clay: Michael left his paper waaay downstairs, as far from this room as possible. //He hands it to Michael and is half way out the door. Michael: This isn't my paper. //Clay stares at Michael for a long time. Clay: Thank you. //Clay snatches the paper and leaves.
#3963
616
⚐ Report//Michael Katz gets his chessboard working in ADSB for Knights Tour Michael Katz: Look Radina! Look what I did! Radina: That's so nice, you're such a cute little nerd. You're going to be way more successful than all of us in life, and you'll definitely get laid.
#3409
59
⚐ Report//John is talking on the phone to Michael John: Thank you very much, I do have balls and I do have brains.
#2729
3032
⚐ ReportSchafer: Michael's dad is a vet, so he can answer all of our pet related questions. Michael, do cats and dogs have arms? Michael: Well, they have FORElegs, and HINDlegs, so no they don't. Schafer: Any other pet-related questions? John Anderson: Michael, how many dogs has your dad euthanized?