Search Quotes
#11671
77
⚐ Report// Schwartz is about to throw a paper ball at River Chen, who is sleeping Schwartz: Wait, he’s moving his fingers. Schwartz: Try not to sleep in class, but if you are going to sleep in class, don’t take up someone else’s desk.
#11668
66
⚐ ReportSchwartz: Pick a unit of volume. Srihari: Kevin //Schwartz writes "3 Kevin-vols", visibly confused Schwartz: Pick a unit of time. Kevin: Srihari Schwartz: ... Srihari, how old are you? Srihari: Uhhh ... 17. Schwartz: You are too young to have to think about that.
#11667
66
⚐ ReportSchwartz: I am not here. I'm officially on personal leave today. Student: But you love us so much you came to teach anyway? Schwartz: Basically
#11646
810
⚐ ReportSchwartz(talking to himself): I am definitely tripping over that sometime soon. Andy(reading the box): Wallops first aid kit... Andy: Well in that case, if you do trip, at least you'll have what you need!
#11612
1414
⚐ ReportSchwartz: Your exam will be on march 6 and 7. Schwartz: I keep thinking: "there's something happening on march 6 and 7, but I can't remember what it is." Schwartz: I remembered this morning -- that's the day the yoghurt I was eating expires. Schwartz: We can take an exam on the day my yoghurt expires.
#11599
77
⚐ Report//at the final Math Meet, a relay-sequence of students have to each hold up a letter revealed in a problem //they hold up MOCOARMLWANTSYO Schwartz: What does it say? Students: MoCo ARML wants yo! Schwartz, standing next to relay-sequence with arms up: MoCo ARML wants you! I'm the U. //later Schwartz, describing ARML trip: The trip will be all-expenses-paid! ... by you and your parents.
#11593
-210
⚐ Report// Writing something on the board Schwartz: I can almost fit it in. Evan Wang: That’s what she said.
#11585
1313
⚐ Report//Schwartz holds up a large plastic hoop Schwartz: I have a stuff-detector. It detects stuff. When stuff goes thru it, it will detect the stuff. Class: Wow //Schwartz opens the window and holds up stuff-detector to it Schwartz: This is a stuff-provider. It brings in stuff, like wind. The stuff-detector will go "waah!" [wiggles hoop excitedly] Class: Wow //later Schwartz: I could fit the stuff-detector in the window, if only this bottle [on the water-dispenser] weren't here. Schwartz: It's almost empty -- does anyone need water? //various students take water excitedly //eventually one of them takes the last of it, Schwartz removes the bottle in amazement Schwartz, mounting hoop in bottle's place: Now I have a stuff-detector stand! //Entire class erupts in thunderous applause
#11535
1212
⚐ ReportSchwartz: We don't need data! We don't need experiments! Schwartz: We can prove, from pure theory, that work over a path is the difference in kinetic energy. Schwartz: Take that, science!
#11519
1010
⚐ ReportSchwartz: All of life’s problems can be solved with duct tape and WD40! Schwartz: If it moves and it shouldn’t, use duct tape. Schwartz: If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD40.