Search Quotes
#6729
3232
⚐ Report//Schafer is trying to draw Tonka while Hammond laughs at him Class: Is that... a cat? Hammond: Why don't you just give up and turn it into an elephant instead? Schafer: With all the love in my heart, I HATE YOU.
#6692
1818
⚐ ReportMr.Schafer: Let's say Mr.Hammond and Mr.Stein both ignore everything that I said at this point. //Schafer had just talked about not sharing and comparing the physics test Mr.Schafer: Let's say Mr. Hammond lost 4 points, and Mr.Stein lost 5. If they compare their work and did the exact same thing...well, that's just unfair. I'll look at them both, and take the extra point off of Mr. Hammond's. //Hammond storms to Schafer's desk, throws his keys on the floor, and stomps away
#6691
1414
⚐ Report//In retaliation to Mr.Schafer being mean to him Mr.Hammond: You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to draw an elephant on the board. And I'm gonna make it purple.
#6433
1111
⚐ Report//Talking about downloading a book for free, and the risk of downloading a virus Klein: That's why you do it on a school computer. Then it's Peter Hammond's problem. (pauses) Just kidding...its actually his sysops' problem.
#6027
99
⚐ Report//9-19-16 was International Speak Like a Pirate Day. //An ARRRRRR joke was just made while Rose is graphing the inverse trig functions. //Mr. Hammond walks in a few moments later. Rose: Arrrrrr! A pirrrrrate's favorite graph is the arrrrrctan and arrrrrc cotan! Hammond: Arrrrrr! Well actually it's probably a parabola because when people walk off the plank they jump in an arrrrrc. Rose: We should really have been on infoflow. Hammond: Oh yeah. What is a pirate's favorite element? Class: Arrrrr-gon! Hammond: No, it's gold, you fools! Pirrrrrates don't know anything about the noble gases! You guys arrrrr all scallywags!
#5563
1010
⚐ Report//In analysis 1B with Stein, doing a diff-eq problem with fecal matter in a water tank //Mr.Hammond walks in Mr.Stein: So class, what is the variable for the fecal matter in the water. //Mr.Hammond walks out
#5432
1315
⚐ Report//Excerpted and paraphrased due to memory lapses //Mr. Hammond walks into Quantum Schafer: I bet Mr. Hammond is coming in to force whomever hasn't signed up yet for PuzzlePalooza to sign up. Hammond: I am actually not going to do that. Schafer: Oh, well then, I'm sorry. Hammond: My feelings are hurt, Mr. Schafer. (continuing with class) Schafer: The atom is from the Greek "atomos"... Hammond: You got that from Donaldson. Schafer: No, I actually didn't. Hammond: Anything Greek is from Donaldson. Melinchok: I'm Greek! Hammond: Did you sign up for PuzzlePalooza yet? Melinchok: No, I didn't. I need to send the link to my friend. Hammond: You should just sign up without her. Melinchok: Ok, I'm signing up now. (fills in form on her phone) I'll put down my talents as "Greek" and (something else). Student: Isn't there a choice for "Other?" Hammond: There is. Mr. Schafer, did I tell you about the best Other I've seen so far? Schafer: No, what was it? Hammond: It was "the ability to lie and say that Justin Bieber is cool." (class laughs) Hammond: Hey, it isn't my fault that Mr. Ostrander has a man crush on Justin Bieber! ... Hammond: The first rule of Puzzle Lords is that there are no Puzzle Lords. Schafer: That is just wrong in so many ways. ... Hammond: (to Melinchok) do you follow the Puzzle Lords on Twitter? Melinchok: I unfollowed them because they kept on making annoying posts. Schafer: Did you just say you UNfollowed them? Is that even like a thing? That's like saying you unfriended someone, it just doesn't make sense. Hammond: And all of the annoying posts are by Mr. Stein! Melinchok: Oh, I unfollowed him too. (class laughs) Melinchok: Ok..I'll follow the Puzzle Lords, but... (brief pause) Schafer: You'd better be really careful with what you say next. Melinchok: But whenever I see an annoying post, I'll...scroll right past it and pretend that I never saw it! Hammond: ...Someone must be submitting this to Blairbash right now. ... Melinchok: What does it mean, the prizes are huge? Like are they literally huge, or what? Schafer: Well, there are many ways a prize could be huge. Like it could be really big, and you say, "Wow, that's huge." Or it could be about this big (holds his hands about 8 inches apart) but you look at it and you go, "Wow, that's a huge prize." Or its name could be huge, like Huge the Hamster. We haven't done that one yet though.
#5190
99
⚐ Report//Talk Like A Pirate Day; Stein and Hammond have crashed pd. 3 bio Stein: To a pirate, this is not "protista." It is pro-KEELHAULING!
#4913
88
⚐ ReportHammond: Seriously, guys, you need to buy shirts. Less than half of the people who said they would buy shirts bought shirts Student: If you don't sell enough will the prizes be small? Hammond: No. They'll still be huge. We'll just buy huge stacks of newspapers.