#10642

1921

May 31, 2022, 5:42 p.m.

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Schwartz: So here we have a tank of some liquid. Class: Hydrochloric acid! Schwartz: What? Oh, this is a different kind of tank problem. We're trying to drain the tank here. Hadar: But what about the magical Stevens and Isaiahs? Schwartz: Oh. They'll be drained out too.

#10641

1111

May 31, 2022, 5:39 p.m.

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// Schwartz monologue I am technically qualified to teach Physics, by the way. You can get qualified to teach a subject by just taking a test. So I went to Schafer and asked "what's on the physics [qualifier] test?" He says "you took AP Physics in high school, right? And you majored in physics in college?" "Yeah." "Then just review what you learned in high school. You'll be fine." Now, in high school, I took AP Physics in 11th grade. And in 12th grade, I took another physics course that went into much more advanced stuff based on multivariable calculus. None of the test was what I studied, and none of what I studied was on the test. I study for the test; I'm about to open the test; I'm ready; I know how to apply Stoke's theorem to these things ... and I open the packet, and the first question is "what is entropy?" I don't know this. Entropy is something to do with heat, right?

#10640

1111

May 31, 2022, 5:31 p.m.

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Schwartz: If we get to [textbook unit] 7.7, we get to submerge Mr Schafer in giant bodies of water! Class: Yay! Schwartz: And by "Mr Schafer", I mean imaginary Mr Schafer. Class: Ohhh ...

#10639

1212

May 31, 2022, 5:30 p.m.

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//chaotic schwartz anthology, may 31 "We live in the world of spherical cows and vacuums." "My fervent hope -- bearing in mind how my hope has turned out before ..." "Nothing about this was clear, but do you have any questions?" "All of physics is just calculus. The only difference is that they look at stuff instead of thinking about it." "Schafer is a little stronger than I am -- sounds about right."

#10634

44

May 31, 2022, 8:41 a.m.

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Schwartz: Nothing about this was clear, but do you have any questions?

#10633

33

May 31, 2022, 8:14 a.m.

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Schwartz: We live in the world of spherical cows and vacuums and no friction.

#10604

1616

May 23, 2022, 6 p.m.

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//Kaluta visits Street's classroom where Analysis 1B is doing Calc R&E Kaluta: There's a limit to how much calculus you can do in a day. Schwartz: That joke sounds very derivative.

#10596

1616

May 23, 2022, 7:53 a.m.

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// CalcRNE Street: So good to see you Mr. Schwartz. Street: Who are the other termites in my room?

#10594

1616

May 19, 2022, 4:04 p.m.

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//Jeremy walks into Analysis 1B, which is about to take a test Schwartz: What class should you be in? Jeremy: English, but I already finished all my assignments there. Schwartz: Check if your teacher's okay with you being here. Schwartz: If you want to take a test for a class you're not in, and your actual teacher allows that, I'm okay with it. //later, Jeremy considering taking the test the rest of the class is taking Schwartz: Do you know about Taylor series? Jeremy: No ... Schwartz: Alright; I'll find something else for you to do. //later, Schwartz gives Jeremy a test Schwartz: This test is from the second half of my Analysis 2 course. //rest of class audibly stunned

#10592

2424

May 19, 2022, 12:59 p.m.

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Schwartz: I guess bells aren't ringing today *Bell ring immediately after he said that* Schwartz: I guess bells are ringing today.