//Talking about the resonance structures of benzene molecules Eva: But benzene is a commie molecule - the electrons are shared equally between all the carbons.
Eva: Analogies are like puppies in a toaster, in that I've never been any good at them.
//Duval's killing time until everyone's real SRP interview partners come back, so Eva and Sam Zbarsky are doing a mock interview for an internship. Eva(interviewer): Hey sweetie, so tell me a little about yourself. Sam: Um, I'm a junior...at Montgomery Blair high school. Eva: High school? That's hot. Sam: Err...I'd like to work under you. Eva: Oh is that what you're into? Sam: ... //Duval facepalms Eva: So what *positions* would you be interested in? *raises eyebrows* Sam: ... Duval: It's okay to run away screaming at this point. //Sam runs away screaming Duval: So that was a lovely example of what kind of interview to NEVER HAVE.
//From the butyric acid incident a long time ago that made the entire 3rd floor smell, as Mr. Hammond put it, like "dead feet cheese" //Emmeline, Tatyana, and Audrey are boiling ethanol and butyric acid (smells like vomit) together to make ethyl butanoate (which smells like pineapple). Alcohol+acid=nice smelling ester Emmeline + Tatyana: Wow, that smelled disgusting before. At least the pineapple smells nice after the ethanol was added. Pham: Yeah, it like how ugly girl turn beautiful! Emmeline + Tatyana: By combining them...with alcohol?? //Later, the flask dropped to the floor and the unreacted butyric acid spread and made everything smell almost unbelievably terrible and the scent had absorbed into Emmeline's and Tatyana's clothing Tatyana: Mr. Pham! Are you laughing at my misery?! Pham: Don't you used to it by now? *laughs* //Later.. Tatyana + Emmeline: Mr. Pham! Why did you let us do the experiment with butyric acid in the first place, especially since your fume hood is all messy?! Pham: It because they no give me window room. I take revenge every year. //Emmeline's next class made her sit in the very back corner of the classroom with all the windows open. Smell tests were conducted on anyone entering the 3rd floor computer labs. Tatyana ran to her next class, accidentally touching the door of a different room... freshmen crowded around the door, asking "Did something die in there?!" Tatyana: (entering room): Does anyone have a change of clothing? //Student, extremely tall, athletic guy in basketball clothes raises hand Tatyana: Err...anyone else? Eva: Oh! You can have my shirt. But I NEED my pants. //In the end, things worked out fine, although Mr.Hammond and the nostrils of many students will likely fondly remember the day the third floor smelled like sweaty gym socks and moldy cheese.
//Tatyana needs a change of clothes after a chem lab accident Eva: Oh, you can have my shirt if you want. I NEED my pants, though.
//Mr. Stein is talking about what a bad mood he's in while Eva puts a problem on the board Mr. Stein: ...Anyways, we gotta talk about this problem. What have we got here? Oh, looks like it's a battle... BAM BAM! //Eva screams and bumps into the board Mr. Stein: That puts me in a better mood.
Mr. Rose: You know, there are 10 times more bacteria cells in our body than human cells. Eva (absentmindedly): Yeah... Mr. Rose: ...DUDE! Like, dude, really?! Are you serious? I'm only ten percent human by cell! //later Mr. Rose: I found out about this last year and now every time I think about it I just start freaking out all over again.
//Preparing for a mock trial in AP NSL Grossman: Now, communication skills are a huge factor in determining the success of your case. Remember to make a connection: really look into the judges' eyes, speak slowly... Eva: So you're like, seducing the judges?
//going over hw in Analysis 1A Rose: Did you do your homework? What did you get for this one? I got 4/5. Student: I got 8/5... Rose: Who's right; me or you? Student: Umm... Rose: Eva, what'd you get? Eva: ...4/5. Rose: Eva has pies. She's right.
//Precalc C, sketching several different conics on the same paper Billings: Hey! It looks like a spider! Eva: Mm, it kinda does... Oh god, now I can't stop seeing that! I'm arachnophobic. Mr. Rose: *slowly picks up paper* It's a spider, and it's coming to EAT YOU! *Throws paper at Eva* Eva: *screams* Damn it, why would you do something like that?!