#1957

103107

May 27, 2010, 4:34 p.m.

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//talking about how he got his job in the magnet Rose: Basically, Walstein yelled at me in the loudest, most insulting tone, and I didn't cry, so I got the job. //later: Rose: Yeah, I've been secretly training my entire life for loud Jewish men to yell at me. (mutters) My entire childhood...

#7690

103107

Oct. 31, 2018, 2:24 p.m.

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//misses main office call because he's dancing in the lab Gonzalez: I'm very good at this job.

#8266

5959

Sept. 4, 2019, 7:46 a.m.

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//Toy alarm rings in the hallway Schafer: It must have been an awesomeness detector that got too close to me.

#8119

101105

April 15, 2019, 4:05 p.m.

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//Schwartz subbing in for Donaldson's Origins class Students around the room, imitating Aristotle: The sea is salty because the earth is sweating. People exhaling causes shooting stars. There are 53 spheres between the Earth and the Milky Way. People peeing and then having a tremor is analogous to the earth's waters flowing, followed by an earthquake. Schwartz: I'm beginning to understand why ancient philosophers were deemed heretics.

#8370

100104

Oct. 28, 2019, 9:31 p.m.

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Bracklinn: hey, Mr Rose, would you mind if I made a video... And also I was like you? Literally everyone in the room: ???? Bracklinn: it'll be like the videos you film in class. Rose: so you'll make fun of me, but you want my permission to do it? Bracklinn: ... Yes? Rose: okay, cool.

#8562

100104

March 11, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

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//9th discrete Rose: do you guys think of yourselves as adults? *nobody raises their hands* Rose: This generation is so... When I was your age, I was all like (angry face) 'I don't need you! I'm tall, I know all the math facts, I can go rock climbing..."

#8535

5858

Feb. 28, 2020, 10:20 a.m.

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Yash: Why would you visit France four months in a row? Rose: Maybe you have a secret girlfriend there Rose: Those of you who don’t have a secret girlfriend in Paris, you better get on that

#8928

5858

Jan. 24, 2021, 2:06 p.m.

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//Bracklinn's family is away for the weekend Bracklinn: I turned the thermostat down to 50 F Ethan: Why would you do that Bracklinn: Power corrupts

#7913

7173

Feb. 5, 2019, 9:05 a.m.

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//part 2 of previous sloe duval quote Duval: You can call [Raymond] Rae-Rae Sunshine. He might even respond. *Raymond looks up, utterly horrified* Duval: See?

#8102

7173

April 10, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

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//Going to Wallops Rajit: There's a Kars4Kids. (Sarcastically) Do they trade cars for kids? Duval: That's how I got mine. Colin: Your cars or your kids? Duval: Yes.