#10678

6161

June 9, 2022, 11:20 a.m.

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Lodal: Ostrander must be constipated from the amount of times he doesn’t give a crap.

#428

198210

June 7, 2009, 1:58 p.m.

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Pham: You Magnet student. Everyone trust you! Take advantage of that! You go in office, steal some papers, walk out, nobody care! Skip school, go to Starbucks whatever, nobody care!

#1957

104108

May 27, 2010, 4:34 p.m.

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//talking about how he got his job in the magnet Rose: Basically, Walstein yelled at me in the loudest, most insulting tone, and I didn't cry, so I got the job. //later: Rose: Yeah, I've been secretly training my entire life for loud Jewish men to yell at me. (mutters) My entire childhood...

#8009

104108

March 13, 2019, 6:43 p.m.

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//Complex Schwartz: The bell will ring now. //Bell rings on "now". Class is in awe. Schwartz: I wear a watch for a reason!

#7690

103107

Oct. 31, 2018, 2:24 p.m.

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//misses main office call because he's dancing in the lab Gonzalez: I'm very good at this job.

#8119

103107

April 15, 2019, 4:05 p.m.

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//Schwartz subbing in for Donaldson's Origins class Students around the room, imitating Aristotle: The sea is salty because the earth is sweating. People exhaling causes shooting stars. There are 53 spheres between the Earth and the Milky Way. People peeing and then having a tremor is analogous to the earth's waters flowing, followed by an earthquake. Schwartz: I'm beginning to understand why ancient philosophers were deemed heretics.

#8266

6060

Sept. 4, 2019, 7:46 a.m.

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//Toy alarm rings in the hallway Schafer: It must have been an awesomeness detector that got too close to me.

#8562

102106

March 11, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

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//9th discrete Rose: do you guys think of yourselves as adults? *nobody raises their hands* Rose: This generation is so... When I was your age, I was all like (angry face) 'I don't need you! I'm tall, I know all the math facts, I can go rock climbing..."

#9462

5959

Nov. 30, 2021, 8:13 p.m.

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Street: make sure to tie the hot glue gun wire like this so there isn't a snake orgy Street: erm, a mess of wires Student: I promise it's not my fault!!! *runs out of the room*

#11406

5959

Jan. 10, 2023, 9:23 p.m.

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Sahu: It’s been overloaded out the wazoo! Sahu: I don’t actually know what a wazoo is but I like saying it. *opens Google and talks as he types* What…is..a…wazoo? // first result reads: “a person’s buttocks or anus” Sahu: Oh. Oh. Sorry. I’m sorry guys.