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#12858

77

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:54 a.m.

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Delaney: When you get older, your hair gets thinner and grayer. Delaney: My hair hasn’t gotten thinner yet.

#12857

88

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:54 a.m.

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Charles: Name something that is commonly used as a performance enhancer. Andy: Viagra! // Later Charles: Now the FDA doesn’t really care to run trials to determine the safety of something. Charles: Unless it’s like viagra because people’s things start to fall off and it’s happening to a lot of people.

#12856

88

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:53 a.m.

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Glenn: My old lady dream is to be the one on the beach with a metal detector looking for treasure.

#12855

1010

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:53 a.m.

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Glenn: I can tell the difference between a content purr from my cats and a “I’m gonna murder you in your sleep, woman” purr.

#12854

99

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:53 a.m.

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Jerry Song: If you need someone to explain the book to you because you didn’t read it, it’s like catching someone’s vomit in your mouth hoping to get some nutrients.

#12853

1111

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:52 a.m.

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// Delaney is back after being gone for a couple days Ace: You know the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away?” Ace: I wonder if that also applies to Delaney. Delaney: My profile is listed as “Dr. Delaney, MD” because I live in Maryland. Delaney: One time I got a job offer as an anesthesiologist in Texas, with a starting salary of $550,000. Delaney: I really wanted to say “I’ll need at least 1 million before I move to Texas”.

#12852

1010

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:52 a.m.

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Bosse: Some of you magnet kids are so smart that you skipped kindergarten and didn’t learn the hardest task of them all: cutting within the lines.

#12851

55

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:51 a.m.

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Charles: You know those Five Guys cheeseburgers? Charles: Those are so addictive, it’s like crack.

#12850

66

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:50 a.m.

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Delaney: The outbred mice group simulates humans a bit better, because we are not inbred. Delaney: I am not inbred, and I hope you guys are also not inbred.

#12849

99

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:49 a.m.

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Delaney: So I would do harem breeding for the mice, where I would put 1 male mouse with 4 female mice. Delaney: I would turn the lights off and then come back the next day and I see that the male mouse is in the corner and all *huff huff huff*.