M Fan: "Did you seriously just eat all the candy that I got for Halloween?" H Zheng: "I have a weakness for Twix bars and Korean violinists ;)"
//after we did badly on the Friday of the DC robotics regional Harrison: A great chief executive once said, "We took a shillelagh this morning." People: ... Harrison: That was Obama after the Democrats lost all those House seats in 2010. Several people: It's "shellacking." [He said, "We took a shellacking."] Misha: Isn't a shillelagh what you hit an axe with? Sam: Fucking Boy Scouts...
//At a debate meet Poolesville Girl: If you don't mind me asking, what grade are you guys in? Antares and Harrison: We're seniors. Judge: You're seniors huh? Let me tell you; first semester senior year is a bitch on wheels!
//Unnamed student (henceforth "Student") is giving a practice SRP presentation on people’s ability to distinguish between speaking and singing. //Student finishes presenting; more than half of the class raises their hand. Mike, to Matthew: Sorry, what’s everybody’s question? Matthew: Like, "what exactly did you do, again?" //Questions went on for half an hour. Below are some highlights. -- Harrison: So basically your project is about differentiating between speaking and singing. Do you have an objective definition of singing? Student: Singing is pleasing to the ears. Harrison: But do you have an objective definition? Student: No. Music is subjective. Harrison: Okay, so basically your project is meaningless. //Student calls on someone else. -- Arjuna: Doesn’t perception change with age? Student: Yeah, but age doesn’t really matter. Arjuna: So are you blocking by age? Student: Um... uh... yeah, sure. -- Eric: How many age blocks do you have? Student: Age doesn’t really matter. Eric: But are you blocking by age? Student: Uh, sure. Eric: So you have a sample size of 24, you have two gender blocks, and you have several age blocks. How will you be able to get statistically significant results? //Class laughs. Student: Well, after we have the data, we’ll figure out whether it’s statistically significant. Matthew: But Eric just figured out that it’s not statistically significant. Mike, to Matthew and Eric: Okay, we’ve determined that the whole project is BS. Let’s move on. //Student calls on the next person with a question. -- Sachin: Can you go back to the first slide? //Student goes back to the title slide. //5-second silence Student: So what’s your question? Sachin: Oh, I don’t have one. I just wanted you to go back to that slide. //Later Eric: Wait, why did you ask to go back to the first slide? Sachin: I just wanted to stall. Eric: So there wouldn’t be any more presentations? Sachin: Yeah, and to troll. -- Eric, to Mike: I think his project is not topologically equivalent to Salamano. //Note: Salamano, a character in _The Stranger_, is Eric’s go-to example of something that doesn’t have holes in it. Mike, to Eric: I think his project is topologically equivalent to a sponge. //After 5 seconds. Mike, to Eric: Actually, it’s topologically equivalent to a Sierpinski sponge, because it has no volume. Dennis, to Mike and Eric: If he did a math presentation, he would understand numbers better than anyone since Morris Kline. //Note: making fun of this ridiculous quote at the bottom of the front cover of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mathematics-Loss-Certainty-Oxford-Paperbacks/dp/0195030850/ref=cm_rdp_product_img -- Ms. Bosse: Did anybody not ask a question yet? -- //This one might not be very accurate. //Kevin frantically waves his hand. Student calls on him. Kevin: You said during your presentation that audio evidence cannot be used in court, but I think that you can in fact use audio recordings in court. Student: Oh, by audio evidence I mean what people say they heard, not actual recordings. Kevin: But what if there’s hearsay? Student: What’s hearsay? //Kevin explains what hearsay is. Student: Oh, but I’m talking about actual recordings.
Schwartz: When all you have is a hammer, it doesn't really matter if you have a nail or not. All you can do is hit things. Harrison: Sounds like robotics.
//During 9th period Discrete, Rose is listing what will be on a test later that week Harrison: Have you even made this test yet? //Rose stares at him and makes a sassy head motion Rose: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard! No one does anything until the night before!
Harrison: You don't swallow your toothpaste, man? It tastes great! And then when you burp it up it tastes all minty and shit.
//CAP kid is finishing a test faster than the rest of the class, which is mostly Magnet. Freeman: What now Magnets? What do you have to say to that? Harrison: She got sleep.
//Waiting at Wootton at 7:33 because the bus just never showed up Harrison Zheng: You know what? I'm just gonna call my mom for a ride because I kinda have to go to school today... //Everyone laughs