#3229

-315

April 13, 2011, 5:44 p.m.

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//Freshmen are conducting Chem R&E experiments in R&E and someone starts using sulfuric acid. The smell of rotten eggs starts to permeate the room. Student: EW, IT SMELLS LIKE OLD PEOPLE!

#3228

66

April 13, 2011, 4:06 p.m.

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//the class is writing stories. They have been assigned ironic as the tone, a sulfur pit as the setting, someone's eye must be poked out, and Gordon Freeman as the main character Viju: It's ironic 'cause they poke an EYE out! Bob: It's ironic 'cause his crowbar is made of iron! Thomas: It's ironic 'cause he's in a sulfur pit!

#3227

1414

April 12, 2011, 11:27 p.m.

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Rose: I need a seat. Who looks skinny? Random Student on Bus: You can sit on my lap Mr. Rose! Rose: (shakes his head) Mmmmm we'll talk about that later.

#3226

1010

April 12, 2011, 10:43 p.m.

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//wallops Kids: What was going on in your room? Patrice: Oh, we were just moving around. Kids: But why exactly was the floor shaking around 12:30? Neel: Er...well Jeremy was having fun and playing around in bed.

#3225

1212

April 12, 2011, 10:40 p.m.

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Grossman: Now, which group of people is against pesticides in crops? Neel: The crazy organic people Grossman: Hey, watch your mouth!

#3223

99

April 12, 2011, 8:06 p.m.

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Stein: Don't stand in the middle of the road. The only things in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead armadilla [sic].

#3221

79

April 11, 2011, 10:38 p.m.

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Porac: What is something that will make the symptoms of drinking ease? Neel: Hashish or cannibis? Porac: How about something more legal...although that does work. Classmate: Cocaine!

#3220

4654

April 11, 2011, 10:10 p.m.

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//On the way to putt-putt during Wallops Billings: Mr. Rose, you look homeless!

#3218

711

April 11, 2011, 9:10 p.m.

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Theresa: When you have a nose bleed, DONT put a tampon in your nose because those things EXPAND

#3216

1414

April 11, 2011, 4:50 p.m.

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Schafer: So did any of you read your horoscope today? Ittai: Well, I DID read it one time and it said that I would find something good in an unusual place.  So I looked at my ass in the mirror.  But all I saw was crap!