#963

2830

Nov. 24, 2009, 9:57 p.m.

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Jenni: No, you're not supposed to protect Burger! Diana: But Burger needs protection! //awkward pause from entire group Burger: What? I never need protection!

#1647

2830

March 11, 2010, 10:46 p.m.

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Bosse: Don't bother the student aide about how she graded the questions, she did it out of the kindness of her heart... You can't fire her... You could fire me though.... Except I've been here too long, I'd have to kill one of you or something... It's really hard to get fired.

#1698

2830

March 20, 2010, 9:02 p.m.

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(during lunch) Student 1: Mr. Rose, could you open this for me? The lid won't come off. *Mr. Rose puts papers down and struggles to open it* Mr. Rose: I don't want to break the plastic off... Student 2: Come on Mr. Rose, use your muscles! *Mr.Rose still tries to open it without success* Mr. Rose: I'm not letting this thing get between me and Asian food!

#2309

2830

Oct. 6, 2010, 10:49 p.m.

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Whitacre: Brighten up! It'll only get worse.

#2359

2830

Oct. 14, 2010, 4:15 p.m.

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Stein: So let's say you're going from point A to point B. 210 miles, 3 hours. So then the cop says "You were going 70" and you say "But you didn't catch me on record" and then he says "But the mean value theorem"

#2384

2830

Oct. 20, 2010, 5:48 p.m.

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Shirley: Impress all your friends! Instead of saying "Is today even or odd?" say "What is the parity of today?"

#2971

2830

Feb. 23, 2011, 1:22 p.m.

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Kaluta: These walls are a lot stronger. They're made of cinder block. Your house walls are gypsum or drywall. Marcus: My house is actually made of cinderblock. Kaluta: That's because you live in a prison!

#3079

2830

March 14, 2011, 10:56 a.m.

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Rose: Man, so your parents held hands and said nice things to each other like exactly 9 months before pi day, so that their kid could have a mathematically interesting birthday.

#3204

2830

April 8, 2011, 10:57 p.m.

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//Block C Chem class, Pham lecturing about actually doing work in R&E Theresa: Oh, Mr. Pham, I have a story!!! So....LISTEN TO ME!! You guys should stop playing Halo during R&E cause three years later, when you're a senior, you're gonna be like, oh crap, there's prom, I need a date. Then, you're gonna think back and say, When have I ever talked to a girl? Oh yeah, in my chem r&e group. So you're gonna go up to them and be like, Hey, remember me? I was in your chem r&e group. We haven't talked in a while but, will you go to prom with me? And since you played Halo instead of working, she's gonna say No. She's going to go with the guy that actually paid attention and talked to people instead of playing halo all day. Then what's gonna happen to you on prom night? You're gonna end up staying at home with your cat and playing halo.

#3376

2830

May 17, 2011, 5:33 p.m.

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//Some students arrive in SRP from the ExploraVision awards ceremony. Lori (takes out floppy calculator and examines it): Is this solar-powered? Ms. Medley: I think so. Lori: But then where are the solar cells? Ms. Medley: You can't see them! They're on the inside. Lori: ...I think it's battery-powered.