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March 26, 2021, 11:20 a.m.

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Student: I'm only absent because I was beheaded



Feb. 23, 2021, 10:02 a.m.

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Lodal: I never get 100% participation. Lodal: I assume it's because some people *die* during the class -- and then their necromancer parents raise them from the dead after class.



Dec. 7, 2020, 11:22 a.m.

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Kirk: Here lies ... Gwendolyn. Kirk: She forgot to include the 2ab when squaring a binomial.



Feb. 1, 2018, 5:52 p.m.

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Clay: Anyone want to share the story that they just wrote? //everyone raises their hand Clay: Your story can't be about death or torture or anything like that, by the way. //everyone lowers their hand



Nov. 12, 2017, 9:59 p.m.

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Clay: So, as you can see from this data graph I made, 28 of you wrote stories about death and 0 of you wrote stories about life. //class smiles innocently Clay: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with all of you.



Oct. 16, 2017, 1:09 p.m.

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//Talking about kiddos in AP World who are temporarily disappointed by their test grades Whitacre: Hope is disappointment delayed Whitacre: That's what I said at my mother's funeral



Sept. 26, 2016, 4:26 p.m.

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//Rose's logic class is getting restless at the end of the period but he's still trying to teach Rose (singing): Ninth period seniors, one foot out the door... One step closer to DEATH!



Sept. 17, 2013, 5:44 p.m.

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Bunday: My wife says that when I die, she'll kick me out in a hearse and right behind me she'll have U-Haul with all of my shit.



Nov. 27, 2012, 7:24 p.m.

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Pham: Do you know what the objective of life is? Student: To die? Pham: Exactly.



March 21, 2011, 3:49 p.m.

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Pham: You need to study naming compounds. You don't want to kill baby when you become doctor, do you? You choose wrong thing, you kill baby.