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#1675

88

March 17, 2010, 12:55 p.m.

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//There is preemptive decorating in case Schafer wins for best teacher Schafer: So I can just look to the back and see a huge "Congratulations". If I look left, I see another sign. Student: What about the sash? Schafer: Right, so I have this sash now! (puts it on) I was gonna have a tiara, but I never got it! Gilad: You should wear the sash to the awards ceremony! Schafer: Yeah, I'll wear a sash and a tiara to the awards. Act all prom queenish and stuff.

#1761

88

April 9, 2010, 6:21 p.m.

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//We were talking about labor supply, which led to labor unions, which led to teacher unions, which led to teacher licensing, which led to this. Hinkle: Ladies and gentlemen, guess what was the hardest licensing test I ever took. Student 1: Driver's license? Hinkle: Nooo, no. Student 2: Teaching license? Hinkle: Nah. It was my captain's license. Students: What? Hinkle: Ya know, boat captain. Students: You were a boat captain!?! Hinkle: Yup. Student 3: What's the biggest that your boat can be? Hinkle: 100 tons //Later he explained that they accidentally gave him the 100 ton test instead of the 12 ton test, but he passed anyway

#1769

88

April 10, 2010, 5:02 p.m.

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Andy Gilbert (to Rose): Your lack of enthusiasm for this problem *disgusts* me.

#1848

88

April 29, 2010, 6:20 p.m.

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//Pham lectures the freshmen on the importance of primary sources Pham: You need to be having more primary sources! You know every time someone get some information from somewhere and publish it, there always error! ...It like if somebody have duck, and when you tell bunch of people eventually story changes, and you not have duck anymore! You have monster! Monster with one eye! Student 1: Or you have a chicken! Pham: You lucky if you have chicken! Chicken and duck look alike. Student 2: What? No they don't! Pham: They both birds! Student 2: A dock isn't a bird! Pham: I not say dock I say duck!

#1855

88

May 1, 2010, 1:07 p.m.

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Pham: Then we have now 0/0. What we do? Shirley: MATLAB!

#1861

88

May 2, 2010, 6:40 p.m.

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Alex Contreras: Can an M16 cut down a tree? Mr. Moose: No, but an M60 might. //Goes on to show off his knowledge of guns...

...That's NOT how you're supposed to respond to the question, Mr. Moose!

guns, m16, m60, tree, moose

#1863

88

May 2, 2010, 6:44 p.m.

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Mr. Moose: A lot of stuff in history never occurred.

#1878

88

May 5, 2010, 7:46 a.m.

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Swaney: You know what I think our next crisis will be? A global computer virus that knocks out all computers. Jacob: The good news is, our traffic computers are so old, they wouldn't get the virus! Swaney: No, Chloe controls the traffic lights. On 24, Chloe can tap into the traffic lights. Chloe can tap into anything! //silence for a few seconds, then a few students start to snicker Swaney: *pauses, then realizes what he just said and laughs* DON'T PUT THAT ON BLAIRBASH!

#1917

88

May 13, 2010, 8:26 p.m.

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Ms. Duval: Anywho, look at the problem statement. How long is it? Aaron Burger: Three inches?

#1927

88

May 15, 2010, 4:36 p.m.

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//Rose evaluates integral using Riemann sum (long way) and then using FTC 2 Rose: And hot damn, it's the same answer.