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Dec. 19, 2022, 10:40 a.m.

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Shriyan: Did Jesus write the Bible?



May 13, 2022, 4:04 p.m.

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//Impromptu Math Talent Show //Hadar and Isaiah presenting about mappings Hadar: So, an example of a mapping: "Isaiah" goes to "Ying", "Hadar" goes to "Ernst" ... Hadar: "United States" goes to "of America", and "Schwartz" goes to "Jesus".



March 23, 2022, 5:35 p.m.

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Andy: I've gotten the captains of so many clubs to come lift with me. Ace: He's Weightlifting Jesus. Caleb: We must spread the gospel of Weightlifting Jesus. //later Katz: Does that mean he'll get crucified on a bench?



Feb. 11, 2022, 4:13 p.m.

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//Sahu talks about what teachers he had when he went to Blair Student: Did you have Mr. Schwartz? Sahu: I don't even know who Mr. Schwartz is. Klees: He's Jesus! Katz: He's more like the second derivative of Jesus. Chun: Then who's the first derivative of Jesus?

"I don't know." "And who's the third derivative of Jesus?" Chen: "The holy spirit?" cf 8345

schwartz, jesus, sahu



Oct. 12, 2019, 2:57 p.m.

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//Talking about people who look like Jesus Aaron: opposed to Schwartz, who just is Jesus. Sam: Eh, he’s more like the second derivative of Jesus.



Jan. 7, 2019, 8:10 p.m.

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//9th Cirincione AP NSL //talking about the family research council, an interest group of evangelical Christians who oppose gay marriage and abortion //they give lawmakers a score of a number of 'thumbs up' for how often they vote the way that the FRC wants them to Student A: If Senator Alexander has 8 thumbs up, how many does Jesus have? Student B: 3! *laughs* Student C: I mean, Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself," that sounds pretty gay to me.



Feb. 4, 2018, 12:18 p.m.

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Jessica: Oh! I have a class with Jesus! Daphne: ... who? Jessica *pointing at Simon*: Isn't his name Jesus? Debkanya: What? No, that's Simon! Jessica: Last year you said his name was Jesus. Debkanya: No... Jesus is another kid. Jessica: Oh. Later Jessica *sees Simon in hallway*: HI JESUS!



June 7, 2017, 10:58 p.m.

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//"Learning about Pascal's Wager" Schwartz: When you go home and your parents ask you: What did you learn in school today? To believe in God! Schwartz: No don't get me fired.



Dec. 13, 2015, 6:24 p.m.

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//Comparative Religion with Whitacre //He's talking about the movie "Jesus Camp" (went something like this) Whitacre: There's this lady who runs a camp that indoctrinates little kids. And she says that in the Middle East, the Muslim kids are learning to fight, and they're so committed to their religion, and she wants Christian kids to be just as committed. Seems like she should be--but I digress.



Nov. 19, 2014, 2:17 p.m.

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Duval: He ignored your call for jesus

Naeem missed the field trip and didnt pick up when called because he was watching a movie about jesus in class

naeem, marine, bio, duval, jesus