#10576

1212

May 13, 2022, 4:04 p.m.

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//Impromptu Math Talent Show //Hadar and Isaiah presenting about mappings Hadar: So, an example of a mapping: "Isaiah" goes to "Ying", "Hadar" goes to "Ernst" ... Hadar: "United States" goes to "of America", and "Schwartz" goes to "Jesus".

#10337

1313

March 23, 2022, 5:35 p.m.

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Andy: I've gotten the captains of so many clubs to come lift with me. Ace: He's Weightlifting Jesus. Caleb: We must spread the gospel of Weightlifting Jesus. //later Katz: Does that mean he'll get crucified on a bench?

#9980

1111

Feb. 11, 2022, 4:13 p.m.

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//Sahu talks about what teachers he had when he went to Blair Student: Did you have Mr. Schwartz? Sahu: I don't even know who Mr. Schwartz is. Klees: He's Jesus! Katz: He's more like the second derivative of Jesus. Chun: Then who's the first derivative of Jesus?

#8345

2529

Oct. 12, 2019, 2:57 p.m.

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//Talking about people who look like Jesus Aaron: ...as opposed to Schwartz, who just is Jesus. Sam: Eh, he’s more like the second derivative of Jesus.

#7845

921

Jan. 7, 2019, 8:10 p.m.

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//9th Cirincione AP NSL //talking about the family research council, an interest group of evangelical Christians who oppose gay marriage and abortion //they give lawmakers a score of a number of 'thumbs up' for how often they vote the way that the FRC wants them to Student A: If Senator Alexander has 8 thumbs up, how many does Jesus have? Student B: 3! *laughs* Student C: I mean, Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself," that sounds pretty gay to me.

#7192

-46

Feb. 4, 2018, 12:18 p.m.

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Jessica: Oh! I have a class with Jesus! Daphne: ... who? Jessica *pointing at Simon*: Isn't his name Jesus? Debkanya: What? No, that's Simon! Jessica: Last year you said his name was Jesus. Debkanya: No... Jesus is another kid. Jessica: Oh. Later Jessica *sees Simon in hallway*: HI JESUS!

#6505

1012

June 7, 2017, 10:58 p.m.

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//"Learning about Pascal's Wager" Schwartz: When you go home and your parents ask you: What did you learn in school today? To believe in God! Schwartz: No don't get me fired.

#5693

11

Dec. 13, 2015, 6:24 p.m.

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//Comparative Religion with Whitacre //He's talking about the movie "Jesus Camp" (went something like this) Whitacre: There's this lady who runs a camp that indoctrinates little kids. And she says that in the Middle East, the Muslim kids are learning to fight, and they're so committed to their religion, and she wants Christian kids to be just as committed. Seems like she should be--but I digress.

#5269

13

Nov. 19, 2014, 2:17 p.m.

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Duval: He ignored your call for jesus

#4124

22

May 4, 2012, 8:58 a.m.

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Mike: If I didn't write that book report, Jesus Christ would be alive!