//Talking about people who look like Jesus Aaron: ...as opposed to Schwartz, who just is Jesus. Sam: Eh, he’s more like the second derivative of Jesus.
//9th Cirincione AP NSL //talking about the family research council, an interest group of evangelical Christians who oppose gay marriage and abortion //they give lawmakers a score of a number of 'thumbs up' for how often they vote the way that the FRC wants them to Student A: If Senator Alexander has 8 thumbs up, how many does Jesus have? Student B: 3! *laughs* Student C: I mean, Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself," that sounds pretty gay to me.
Jessica: Oh! I have a class with Jesus! Daphne: ... who? Jessica *pointing at Simon*: Isn't his name Jesus? Debkanya: What? No, that's Simon! Jessica: Last year you said his name was Jesus. Debkanya: No... Jesus is another kid. Jessica: Oh. Later Jessica *sees Simon in hallway*: HI JESUS!
//"Learning about Pascal's Wager" Schwartz: When you go home and your parents ask you: What did you learn in school today? To believe in God! Schwartz: No don't get me fired.
//Comparative Religion with Whitacre //He's talking about the movie "Jesus Camp" (went something like this) Whitacre: There's this lady who runs a camp that indoctrinates little kids. And she says that in the Middle East, the Muslim kids are learning to fight, and they're so committed to their religion, and she wants Christian kids to be just as committed. Seems like she should be--but I digress.
Duval: He ignored your call for jesus
Mike: If I didn't write that book report, Jesus Christ would be alive!
Rajan: Wolfram Alpha is never wrong. It's Jesus.
//during Comparative Religion, a student asks a question about Christian orthodoxy Whitacre: Remember, Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're pretty much a waste.
Reckson: Isn't Jesus a zombie?