#13311

2121

April 17, 2024, 12:09 p.m.

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Justin: You know, Ella should marry a guy with the last name Hu, and [hyphenate] her last name Justin: So she will be Ella Wu-Hu. Justin: And she should have a son to be a soccer player. a very short one, but that's beside the point. Justin: So people will go WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO

#13569

2121

March 14, 2025, 9:19 a.m.

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Yates, on the loudspeaker: In class on time is working- Jacobs: Except for Melvin!

#1262

5969

Jan. 5, 2010, 8:52 p.m.

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Rose: What some people do is they just look at the problem, you know, just kinda look at it, then take a step back and look at it again and then they just.. get it, y'know what I'm talking about?

#10813

3539

Sept. 14, 2022, 12:44 p.m.

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//p9fot Armand: Communicate before you glue!! Nicole: That sounds like a euphemism Solomon: Consent is like glue! Katie: I hate when people turn random stuff into euphemisms Solomon: I euphemismed so hard...

#1610

2527

March 8, 2010, 4:34 p.m.

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Rose: So the population of bears grows logistically. Mufasa: You told us it was sinusoidal. Rose: Yeah, but that was a different park.

#1801

2527

April 19, 2010, 8:33 p.m.

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Pham: I have three houses! One here, other in Maine, and other in Florida! And you know what? In winter, I heat house in Maine to 50 degree! And in summer, I keep house in Florida air-conditioned! And you know why? Because I want to use all the natural resources now, so that when you guy grow up, you won't have any!

#2055

2527

Sept. 2, 2010, 9:34 p.m.

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Pham: By the way, next week classday Thursday and Monday-- Student: No school! Pham: --no, I take off. I go Aruba. Students: Haha, why? Pham: They have no law there! It much harder to get caught! By the way, what name mayor of New York? Students: ...........Bloomberg? Pham: No, the other one, mayor September eleven! Students: Giuliani? Pham: Yeah! Okay, your sub be Mrs. Giuliani. She not his wife though.

#2155

2527

Sept. 18, 2010, 3:49 p.m.

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Pham: My first job was at in a bakery and I get on the bus, as soon as I get paycheck guess what I do: I buy motorcycle. I not know in this country you need have license to do it. Cop get out and come say something, but I not speak English so he call translator. They tell me I need have license and I say "okay." And by the way, nowaday when I get pulled over by a cop, I say "no English" and pretend not to speaking it. It not wuhk if you guy doing it, however. [...] One time I was drive in Canada, get pulled over by a cop, I say no English and he start speak the French, I have say no French either! Then he look at license, calling police station and pull someone speak Viet and give me ticket. [...] I have a clean driving record for the past thirty year. (knocks on countertop) Contreras: That's plastic. Pham: There no wood.

#2333

2527

Oct. 8, 2010, 9:34 p.m.

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// Absorbed in a complicated math problem, Rose vigorously erases the board and accidentally knocks the clock off its hook. It dramatically crashes on the floor and splits into pieces. He stands there for a minute, observing the damage. Rose *mutters to himself*: F***. Stein: You broke my clock. That's the second clock you've broken. Rose: *pause* Actually, a student broke the first clock. // students gather around Rose: You know, I'm 32 years old and I'm finally accepting that I'm a klutz.

#3267

2527

April 27, 2011, 2:26 p.m.

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Stein: It was the only time in my life when I have ever heard a 35 year old man say to a 72 year old woman "I'm going to kick the f------ s--- out of you."