#4054

2832

March 21, 2012, 8:51 p.m.

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//During Clay's English class Clay: I hate to use a cliche, but its like, "If you play with fire, you get burned." Eric Neyman: If Mr. Pham plays with fire, everyone besides him get burned.

#7654

2832

Oct. 16, 2018, 11:27 a.m.

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//6th period ADSA with Gonzalez // Monday Gonzalez: Oh, hey! Someone had a birthday over the weekend, right? Who was it? Cheikh: *hesitantly raises hand* Gonzalez: Happy Birthday! C'mon, let's sing happy birthday! *class sings happy birthday while Cheikh holds his head in his hands* Gonzalez: So how old are you now? Cheikh: I was kidding... *everyone laughs*

#8359

2832

Oct. 21, 2019, 7:49 p.m.

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Street: (holding up a piece of wood) Look at this nice... gravestone... shaped piece of wood! Student: Wow, rip. Street: Yeah, rip your grades, your hopes and dreams.

#9386

2832

Nov. 16, 2021, 8:13 p.m.

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Aditya: This dude wakes up at 12 am, waits around for four hours, and then decides to run the oven, washing machine, and TV all at the same time. Dhruv: He gotta get those gains bro Jason: He's a real go-getter. A strapping young dynamo. Aditya: This dude watches 10 hours of TV a day...

#282

2022

May 21, 2009, 9:09 p.m.

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Mogge: Remember, you should wait until you are married before you have sex. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to do it, just say "Mr. Mogge said it's okay to say no." I can guarantee you it will change the topic of the conversation.

#420

2022

June 5, 2009, 11 a.m.

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Zimmermann: You name your robotics computers? Jacob: Yeah, after the Tales of the Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. Zimmermann: So you can say, "Scott Lawrence found a security hole in Susan, so I did penetration testing."

#499

2022

July 7, 2009, 6:16 p.m.

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Hammond: "We should patch up our security holes sometime" is a phrase that sends shivers up my spine. "We should patch up our security holes now" is better," and "We've patched our security holes" is better yet. :-)

#2089

2022

Sept. 9, 2010, 3:01 p.m.

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Vivienne: Ms. Denny bears a striking resemblance to a vampire I know.

#2429

2022

Oct. 28, 2010, 1:14 a.m.

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//Gross is talking about Naturalism Doyung: Nice boots, Ms. Gross. //Gross looks at him strangely, class snickers Doyung: I said you have nice boots, I didn't know they still made the kind you're wearing. (points at her boots) Class: Ohhhh. Doyung (realizing what they thought he said): Man, you guys are sick.

#2823

2022

Jan. 19, 2011, 6:06 p.m.

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Male students: Do you know where Stein is? Rose: In his room. Students: He's not there, do you really know where he is? Rose: (shrugs) ... He's in the girl's bathroom. Go find him. Just open the door, even if he sounds like a girl, he's just playing with you.