#5325

1414

Dec. 17, 2014, 12:10 p.m.

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Schwartz: So the last component doesn't depend on u. You don't matter... Oh wait, u doesn't matter

#5324

77

Dec. 17, 2014, 10:05 a.m.

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//After finishing movie about British archeologist running away from French police in Comp Religion Ben Hollad: I wish the French guy won! Whitacre: Don't ever say that in here! Never use the word "French" and any derivation of the word "win" in the same sentence. They just don't go together...like 2 magnets with the same pole. Bzzzt bzzzt, no it just doesn't work.

#5323

1414

Dec. 16, 2014, 8:25 p.m.

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Paul: I once went to an ugly sweater party. But I didn't have an ugly sweater, so I took a normal sweater and pinned pictures of ugly celebrities to it. Like Steve Buscemi and Lindsay Lohan's mug shots. //laughs Paul: And another time, I went to a party dressed as Santa Claus. Then everyone came up and asked me if I was Indian Santa Claus. I was like, why can't I just be regular Santa Claus?

#5322

44

Dec. 16, 2014, 8:16 p.m.

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//ADSA pd. 4 Pham: Are they taking a test? Paul: It's a practice test. The real test is on Thursday. Pham: Why you give them a test before the test? (pause) That not right. You supposed to know this stuff, guys!

#5321

1717

Dec. 15, 2014, 10:56 p.m.

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//Stein's puzzle team David Stein had just beat Adam's puzzle team SpacePirates the night before on the puzzle contest Shinteki; David Stein beat the SpacePirates by 1 minute Stein: Do you know what another word for losing by one minute is? Adam: What? Stein: Losing.

#5320

77

Dec. 15, 2014, 9:15 p.m.

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Teddy was able to turn this into Dr. Smith and get credit: http://hastebin.com/soparasidu.vhdl

#5319

1616

Dec. 15, 2014, 7:59 p.m.

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//Functions, first period. Descartes Law of Signs and Upper Bound of Roots Theorem. Rose has just used synthetic division with 5 on a polynomial and ended up with a nonzero remainder. Rose: Oh no! 5 is not a real root! But, class, you see, dividing by a number that is not a root is a lot like a break-up: You could just rush on blindly looking for the next opportunity, or you could slow down and consider the implications, and why everything went wrong... So what does anyone notice about the remainder? Noah Kim: Wait, Mr. Rose, is this related to your personal experience? //a little bit later, talking about graphs of polynomials in relation to roots Rose: But we know what graphs of polynomials look like! They're so continuous and smooth and predictable.... Noah Kim: Mr. Rose, you are still talking about math, right?

#5318

119131

Dec. 15, 2014, 4:47 p.m.

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//Unnamed student (henceforth "Student") is giving a practice SRP presentation on people’s ability to distinguish between speaking and singing. //Student finishes presenting; more than half of the class raises their hand. Mike, to Matthew: Sorry, what’s everybody’s question? Matthew: Like, "what exactly did you do, again?" //Questions went on for half an hour. Below are some highlights. -- Harrison: So basically your project is about differentiating between speaking and singing. Do you have an objective definition of singing? Student: Singing is pleasing to the ears. Harrison: But do you have an objective definition? Student: No. Music is subjective. Harrison: Okay, so basically your project is meaningless. //Student calls on someone else. -- Arjuna: Doesn’t perception change with age? Student: Yeah, but age doesn’t really matter. Arjuna: So are you blocking by age? Student: Um... uh... yeah, sure. -- Eric: How many age blocks do you have? Student: Age doesn’t really matter. Eric: But are you blocking by age? Student: Uh, sure. Eric: So you have a sample size of 24, you have two gender blocks, and you have several age blocks. How will you be able to get statistically significant results? //Class laughs. Student: Well, after we have the data, we’ll figure out whether it’s statistically significant. Matthew: But Eric just figured out that it’s not statistically significant. Mike, to Matthew and Eric: Okay, we’ve determined that the whole project is BS. Let’s move on. //Student calls on the next person with a question. -- Sachin: Can you go back to the first slide? //Student goes back to the title slide. //5-second silence Student: So what’s your question? Sachin: Oh, I don’t have one. I just wanted you to go back to that slide. //Later Eric: Wait, why did you ask to go back to the first slide? Sachin: I just wanted to stall. Eric: So there wouldn’t be any more presentations? Sachin: Yeah, and to troll. -- Eric, to Mike: I think his project is not topologically equivalent to Salamano. //Note: Salamano, a character in _The Stranger_, is Eric’s go-to example of something that doesn’t have holes in it. Mike, to Eric: I think his project is topologically equivalent to a sponge. //After 5 seconds. Mike, to Eric: Actually, it’s topologically equivalent to a Sierpinski sponge, because it has no volume. Dennis, to Mike and Eric: If he did a math presentation, he would understand numbers better than anyone since Morris Kline. //Note: making fun of this ridiculous quote at the bottom of the front cover of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Mathematics-Loss-Certainty-Oxford-Paperbacks/dp/0195030850/ref=cm_rdp_product_img -- Ms. Bosse: Did anybody not ask a question yet? -- //This one might not be very accurate. //Kevin frantically waves his hand. Student calls on him. Kevin: You said during your presentation that audio evidence cannot be used in court, but I think that you can in fact use audio recordings in court. Student: Oh, by audio evidence I mean what people say they heard, not actual recordings. Kevin: But what if there’s hearsay? Student: What’s hearsay? //Kevin explains what hearsay is. Student: Oh, but I’m talking about actual recordings.

#5317

1212

Dec. 13, 2014, 5:51 p.m.

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//At the 2014 magnet orientation picnic. //Ostrander has handed out bingo papers with various people as the cell requirements //For instance, "teacher who has lived in another country" //Soon-to-be freshmen are scurrying around trying to complete their bingo boards Student: Mr. Pham, have you ever lived in another country? Pham: No, I chemistry teacher Student: Wait, but... Pham: I chemistry teacher. Put that.

#5313

1113

Dec. 12, 2014, 1:01 a.m.

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//Whitacre goes around the room asking each person how they are doing Whitacre: *Points at Ben Holland* How are you? Ben Holland: I think that you're doing this as some sort of teaching lesson. Like, you don't normally do this. At the end of this, you're probably going to be like "Well, you all thought about yourselves first, but the BUDDHISTS would have thought about their surroundings, the people around them, etc." Whitacre: You take this class way to seriously...*Goes onto next person*